


Sparks

by FoxDragon, Lapin



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dwarf Gender Concepts, Implied Torture, M/M, Mentions of Slavery, Other, Pre-Quest, implied rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5009302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxDragon/pseuds/FoxDragon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapin/pseuds/Lapin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori spends the first years of his life as a nomadic slave, until the day he is freed by a group of Dwarves containing not only his sire, but Dwalin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another commission fic, that is tragically late getting posted! This is in fact much more than a commission, and actually a show of trust, as FoxDragon has commissioned me to write in their own world of the [Bonfire Hearts](http://archiveofourown.org/series/185720) universe. Fox Dragon in fact gave me the first few pages that had been written of this fic to be used as necessary, and I expanded on it. Hopefully, I have the right end of this.
> 
> Also, with [art](http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/post/131573460428/for-themarchrabbits-fic-spark-which-is-based) by Sparkle!

_Hearts can confuse_  
_That messed up bundle of nerves that tends to bruise_  
_Still, lay it bare_  
_It’s better to bleed than to need, and never have dared_

 

It had taken the better part of a year, what with the tracking and planning and countless arguments with the humans in the area to organise the raid, but in the end it had been successful. It was easy enough to call something _successful_ if one had very low standards. 

Balin picked his way up the hillside, trying not to look too closely at his surroundings, up to where his bearer, Fundin, stood with some of the other warriors. He had at least lost his sense of smell hours ago, maybe even days ago, and as long as he kept focused, he kept his food down, unlike Dwalin. 

Fundin hitched their chin in acknowledgement of him as he reached their group, more interested in whatever matter Karill was reporting to them about. When Balin could hear the conversation at last, he realised it was an inventory of what had been found amongst the bandits' loot.

Silver, gems, heirlooms and textiles were what they had expected, what they had been told of. The slaves, the ones Karill is speaking of, had been a surprise, but not a terribly big one, not to Balin at least. He had suspected, when the scouts had come back with some odd reports. Too many _young_ Dwarves amongst the caravan, too many who seemed a little too ragged, a little too afraid. The scouts had not dared venture close enough to be sure. The bandits had been moving with dogs, and dogs would have caught their scent. Balin had long ago learned to assume the worst though. 

He hated that he been right. He hated that it had been worse than even he expected, that there were still things that could horrify him. 

Once Karill had finished, Balin had his bearer's full attention, never a particularly comfortable thing, but somehow worse when Fundin was standing there in full armour, with a war banner at their back. Balin couldn't meet their eyes, and tried to make it seem he was still scanning the area instead. Far behind Fundin, he could see the soldiers building pyres. More Burned Dwarves to go to Mahal's Hall.

It was considered a great honour to be a Burned Dwarf, to die on the battlefield. Dwalin used to speak of it. Further back, Balin can remember he himself wanting that sort of glory.

He wished Dwalin was standing beside him, so he could see him. 

“That brother of yours still heaving up his breakfast?” Fundin barked, in lieu of a greeting. It gets a few laughs out of the others.

Balin though, had to fight not to wince at his bearer's humour. Dwalin was hardly past childhood. He should never have been here, would not have had they not needed every axe and blade and hammer that could be spared. Since Dwalin didn't have a proper trade yet, nor did he have a family, it was expected he would come on this. He was one of Fundin's sons, after all. 

Dwalin had wanted to come. He'd wanted to be like Fundin, wanted to make Fundin proud. Balin wished now he had argued harder against Dwalin being allowed along, because when he'd seen Dwalin after the battle, he'd known. Balin had known. Dwalin's discovered what _glory_ really is, and Balin felt as a failure for not having protected his little brother just a little bit longer.

“I couldn't tell you,” Balin replied, trying to save his brother's dignity in Fundin's eyes. Disappointing Fundin would break Dwalin's heart.

Fundin knew what he was doing; he caught the way their mouth twisted just a little. “Lad will be fine.”

Karill, on the other hand, huffed and shook his head. “I told you when this started, that lad is still too young. You should have left him in the hills, with my Dori.”

That got a few derisive laughs, and Balin tensed, seeing how Karill bristled. He hadn't been joking, even though they all seemed to think Karill was just being a hen about his son. 

“Dori should have been _here_ ,” Fundin contradicted, laughing with the others. “I’ve seen him with a mace. He could have cleaved three heads with one blow here.” After a moment though, Fundin seemed to realise their friend wasn't laughing, and quickly added, “Though his tongue could do the same, with less mess. I've seen your lad break a Dwarf's heart with hardly a dozen words.”

 _That_ got a proper chuckle out of Karill. “Aye, my lad would have been a sight to see in Erebor's halls.” He paused, and Balin caught the way he touched the spot over his armour, where his token must be resting beneath. “But he's too much like my Savri to have any taste for this sort of tuft-up.”

Balin made the hammer sign without thinking, as did the rest of them standing there, at the speaking of Savri's name. Savri had been yet another Dwarf, and worse, a _bearer _, that had gone to the Halls before he should have. Another victim of Smaug. Even Fundin made the sign, though Balin knew it was more out of respect to Karill, their oldest friend, and habit. Fundin did not hold much with superstition, on their own.__

__Still though, Fundin started to speak, and Balin knew the argument that Fundin was about to raise, had been hearing it since they left home. It always went the same way: Fundin argued Dori was of age, and a talented fighter, then Karill countered that Dori was his son, and he would make those decisions, then Fundin would say these weren't the times for those sorts of sensibilities and then the pair wouldn't speak about anything but battle strategies for an hour or so until they silently forgave one another._ _

__This time though, the argument never even had a chance to occur, because a runner was tearing up the hill, huffing and puffing by the time they reached the top, needing a moment to catch their breath before they said, “I've been told to fetch you immediately, Colonel Karill.” They managed to stand straight, their hand pressed to what must be a terrible stitch in their side after running up a hill in full armour. “I was told you were absolutely needed. Right this moment.”_ _

__Karill frowned deeply, enough the scar across his brow became a full valley, and looked at Balin of all people, as though he would know anything. Balin shook his head quickly, just as confused.  
__

“Alright,” he said carefully, nudging Fundin. “Lead the way.” He took Balin by the elbow as well, surprising Balin. “Come along then, lad, see how a proper officer handles things.” 

__“Dismissed,” Fundin said to the other officers, following as well. “Was that pointed at me, by chance, Corporal?”_ _

__“Don't know how you could come to that idea,” Karill replied._ _

__“Arse,” Fundin said, shoving him in the back._ _

__The truth was, Balin thought he might have been more willing to walk into Mordor unarmed than return to those dank caves, He followed Fundin, because Fundin was the only parent he had left, and because there was something in him still that hated the idea that Fundin might ever believe he was weak._ _

__The place reeked, even to Balin. The soldiers hadn't had the time to clean it out, nor the inclination. Everyone just wanted to _leave_. Worse than the smell was the way the rock had been lived in. Rock changed to suit the Dwarves that lived in it, and in this rock, the shadows felt too long, the chill felt too clammy. There was evil in this rock now, and it frightened Balin, seeped down into his bones and made him feel like a child again, jumping at shadows in the hallway. _ _

__Worse, they were walking in silence. It would have been easier if Karill and Fundin had kept up their banter, but they do not seem inclined to speak anymore, whereas Balin was so afraid now he would give anything just for them to argue, to keep away the shadows and the silence and the chill._ _

__The former slaves still kept to the walls and alcoves and corners, and now they watched Balin and the other two. The silence had grown heavier, more fearful. The older ones had shuffled the children behind their own bodies, and there was no talking, no quiet murmurs, no whispering. They kept silent, watching them, waiting. Waiting for things Balin could not think about. Expecting things Balin was sure they would be expecting for years to come._ _

__When Balin was younger, he had believed nothing could ever hurt their people as Smaug had._ _

__He had been proven wrong so many times since, and now especially._ _

__Dwalin should never have been here. None of them should have been here._ _

__But then, in front of him Karill stopped._ _

__There was a healer sitting on the rock, seeing to a young, redhaired Dwarf, a Dwarf even Balin can see is the absolute image of Karill, and sitting beside them is another Dwarf. Thin, too thin, dirty, but Karill does not seem to see any of that._ _

__Instead, he asked, quietly, his voice breaking, “Savri?”_ _

__Now Balin looked closer, and in the bad light, bad even for a Dwarf, he saw the red hair bound and braided down the Dwarf's back, saw the shape of their eyes, their nose, the jut of their cheekbones, features that been visible even when the Dwarf in question had been well fed._ _

__“Savri,” he himself repeated aloud, shocked. Savri had been dead so long, but this was Savri. This was Savri, sitting on the floor beside a redhaired Dwarf child who was just old enough, just barely, to have been forging in Savri's belly when Smaug came._ _

__The Dwarf, Savri, Savri all this time, _all this time_ and who knows what Savri has endured over these years, drew the plain, dirty bolt of fabric he'd been wearing as a headscarf up over his mouth, hiding his face, even as Karill fell down to his knees in front of Savri._ _

__“Savri,” Karill said, as he reached out for the scarf. He stopped when Savri jerked away, his hand lingering in the air for a moment. “Savri, my heart, my love, Savri....”_ _

__There was a cry, like a kitten's mewl, coming from the bundle pressed to the chest of the Dwarf that could only be Savri's child._ _

__“Shhh,” the strange Dwarf said, bringing the bundle up and clutching it close, bouncing it._ _

__A _baby_ , Balin realised distantly, as the bundle continued to quietly fuss. _ _

__Karill looked to the bundle, to the young Dwarf, then back to Savri. “You didn't say,” he said._ _

__“I wasn't sure,” Savri finally spoke, still with the scarf up over his mouth, not touching Karill. “I wasn't sure, before Smaug came.”_ _

__Again, Karill looked at the other pair, the red-haired Dwarf and the baby. “What's your name?” he asked._ _

__“Nori,” the Dwarf said firmly. “And this is Ori.”_ _

__Karill licked his lips, and suddenly, Fundin grabbed at Balin, found his arm. When Balin looked up at his bearer, he saw something so soft in their face he hardly believed it. Instead of trying, he covered his bearer's hand with his free one, and said nothing._ _

__“Nori,” Karill repeated. “Oh, look at you. You and your brother both got the fire in your hair.”_ _

__Nori frowned, still holding the baby. “Ori doesn't have any hair yet. What do you mean?”_ _

__A moth could have been heard fluttering, the room was so quiet._ _

__Karill looked at Savri. Savri pulled the scarf up until only his eyes were visible._ _

__Balin clutched at his bearer in turn, because he understood so suddenly it was as though an arrow had pierced his heart. He had assumed the babe was Nori's, had assumed such horrid things, but this is no better, might even be worse. Because Savri had been bonded, and Balin had no doubt it had been a truly violent affair._ _

__“Oh.” Karill said, so quietly, so dead. “Fundin?”_ _

__“Yes?” Balin's bearer replied, just as quiet, but not dead. _Deadly_. _ _

__“Cut off their braids, and burn the lot of it,” Karill said. “Melt down their beads.”_ _

__“As good as done,” Fundin decreed. “Savri, my friend...”_ _

__Savri said nothing for a moment, then, with viciousness, “The one called Matko,” he said. “With the green dye in his beard and his braids, and the jade beads?”_ _

__“He's alive, still,” Balin said, without thinking. He said it, and doesn't need one more word said. “His beads and his braids burned. I'll be sure his ink is branded away too.” And then the Dwarf called Matko would be nothing, nothing at all. No ink, no braids, no beads. There was no greater dishonour than a Dwarf who was deliberately forgotten. “He'll have an axe to his neck -”_ _

__“Balin,” Savri said. “You're Balin.”_ _

__And Balin cannot help but recall being a young child and seeing Savri in full health sitting down for tea with his lost sire, the pair of them laughing over gossip and even in the kitchen, two nobles cooking competitively, the servants sitting at their big scrubbed-wood table, watching the two squabble. When he was little, the housekeeper would sit him in their lap and play with him. When he had been older, he had avoided the kitchens, feeling his place in the house just a little too much._ _

__“I am,” he said, and found himself on his knees, beside Savri and Karill. “I've missed your potato soup.”_ _

__“I've missed potatoes,” Savri replied._ _

__The babe in Nori's arms began to fuss again. Little mewling noises, more as an unsettled kitten than a baby, to Balin. Savri looked to the pair, and Savri was so _thin_. How had Savri even survived bearing a child in this place, looking the way he did?_ _

__“Shh,” Nori soothed. “Shh, you'll have to wait. Here.” He dipped his finger down in the small cup of milk Balin had not noticed, then placed it against where Balin assumed the baby's mouth was. “There,” he said. “There, that's a touch better, isn't it?”_ _

__Nori was younger than Dwalin by far too much, if Balin had to guess. But not so young it was out of the realm of possibility that he had been the one keeping the baby alive all this time._ _

__“You've a good hand with him,” Karill said, and Balin did not need to look back to know Karill how Karill was looking at Nori. He had the same sound to his voice that he did when he was praising Dori for something, the quiet pride and awe in his child._ _

__However, Nori did not seem to share the feeling. “He's an easy child,” he replied, and said nothing else to Karill, his attention focused on the babe, on Ori._ _

__“Let's get the lot of you somewhere more familiar,” Fundin said, taking control of the situation._ _

__Óin pointedly cleared his throat, and then nodded at Savri. “That one might need a bit of a helping hand.”_ _

__Savri was just so _thin_. _ _

__“Can I help you, my heart?” Karill asked gently, not touching Savri._ _

__“I stink,” Savri replied, still holding the scarf over his face._ _

__“In case you have yet to notice, my love,” Karill pointed out, still so gently, indicating his own dirty armour. “I might smell even worse.”_ _

__The scarf dropped just enough Balin could see the way Savri began to smile, just a little. “I cannot stand on my own,” he admitted. “Nor can I walk very far.”_ _

__“That's alright,” Karill said, as he helped Savri up to his feet and then scooped him up into his arms. “Be like when I was carrying our Dori and couldn't get out of bed.”_ _

__“Our Dori,” Savri repeated. “ Dori. Oh, Dori is all right?”_ _

__“Right as rain, and so beautiful half the hills would cut off a braid just to have his smile turned on them.”_ _

__Balin, meanwhile, offered Nori help standing, but Nori refused without a word, struggling to his feet on his own. He tucked the babe into a sort of sling Balin had not noticed before, but kept one arm under the babe, for protection more than stability, Balin was sure. “Who's Dori?” he asked Balin._ _

__“You don't know about him?” Balin asked, surprised. Savri and Karill are already ahead of them, Savri tucked against Karill. “Dori is your elder brother. Karill is his bearer, Savri his sire.”_ _

__He does not know what he expected Nori to do with the information. He was not all that surprised that Nori did not seem to do anything at all with it, even though he'd only known Nori but a few moments. “Karill is Savri's husband, then?”_ _

__He called Savri by name._ _

__“Yes,” Balin answered cautiously. “I believe Karill is your -”_ _

__“I'm not blind,” Nori cut him in a swift and quiet fashion. “He's got proper nob armour. He's a he then?”_ _

__“Yes,” Balin said again, not unsettled, but somewhat out of step with the conversation._ _

__“Does this mean I can get something proper to eat? Only Ori is hungry, and I cannot do much for him when I'm hungry as well.” The baby against him has begin to fuss again._ _

__“I'll get you something,” Balin assured him, meaning it, even if meant taking something from his own rations. Nori was not as thin as Savri, but too thin to be having to provide for another. Balin can afford to miss a little. “I promise.”_ _

__Nori looked at him, then nodded. “Thank you.” It was stiff, out of practice. Perhaps never used._ _

__“You're welcome.”_ _

__Once they were back out under the sky, and Savri had been settled in the tent Karill was afforded, wrapped in a proper fur, Balin ventured out and found the supply wagon for their part of the camp. “A young bearer,” he lied. “Babe is still nursing.”_ _

__He did not need to say more; in fact he ended up with more than what the supplies could afford him. Several Dwarves who had been getting their own rations rummaged through their own and pressed things into Balin's care; biscuits and pickles and grains and one even gave him a packet of rabbit jerky and a bag of dried apple slices from her private store._ _

__A baby, in this place. And they likely knew that when he said _young_ , it was because the bearer in question was young enough it bore mentioning. _ _

__When he returned to the tent though, Nori already had food; Dwalin's. He had somehow or another found his way to see the found Savri, though Balin doubted Dwalin could truly remember the Dwarf. Dwalin had been so young._ _

__“He's so small,” Dwalin said, his hand hovering over Ori._ _

__“Heavier than he looks,” Nori replied, in a much softer tone of voice than how he had spoken before. “Do you want to hold him?”_ _

__“I...” Dwalin looked down at himself, and Balin realised his brother had cleaned himself since Balin lost saw him. “If you would allow me,” he answered, and just as easy as that, Nori passed the baby over to Dwalin. The baby's eyes are open now, and he looked up at Dwalin, seeming to mind his new place. “He feels fragile.”_ _

__“He's a Dwarf,” Nori countered, eating a piece of dark rough bread from Dwalin's rations. “He's stronger than he seems.”_ _

__“Looks even smaller in your hands,” Balin spoke at last. “How are you, _nadadith_?” _ _

__Dwalin seemed embarrassed. “I'm well enough.”_ _

__“You're his brother?” Nori asked. He looked at Dwalin more critically. “I wouldn't have guessed that.”_ _

__“Balin's the clever one,” Dwalin mumbled._ _

__“Aye,” Balin agreed, coming closer so he could place his hand on Dwalin's head and hand the food over to Nori. “But where would I be without you to keep me safe when my head is in the books?” It was not as well-spoken as it could have been, he thought, but it did not seem to matter to Dwalin. His shoulders relaxed, and he dared run a finger over Ori's thin face._ _

__“Look at how small he is,” Dwalin said, something so very like reverence in his voice, and a bolt of pain stole through Balin's chest. In the reverence is longing, and Balin ran his fingers through his little brother's hair, feeling suddenly so lonely._ _

__“You were once nearly that small,” he said. “Not for long, but you were.”__

 _ _♦__

 _ _Weeks pass in the camp, the routine not all that different than it was with the slavers, not for Nori, at least. He woke when Ori woke, nursed him, washed them both for the day, then helped pack up the tent so they could start walking. The main difference was that Savri's care seemed to no longer be his responsibility. Now there were healers and an assistant for that, some sort of low-ranking apprentice to the healers with her head shaved up to her ears, then her hair gathered in thick ropes with thread sewn in. She was called Avi, and Nori resented her somewhat, because she had dared suggest she could fetch a willing Dwarf and some fenugreek._ _

__Nori knew she meant well, but it felt as an insult._ _

__“Nori, there you are! Was wondering where you were hiding!”_ _

__The voice has become familiar these past few weeks. Karill now sat himself down beside Nori without invitation, his hand brushing Nori's shoulder for only a moment. Nori knew it was wrong to flinch, but he could not help it, and Karill seemed to sadden yet again._ _

__“Ori likes the sounds here,” Nori explained. In his sling, Ori was dozing, his tiny fist clenched around a lock of Nori's beard. “It soothes him.” In truth, Ori's little fist was noticeably fatter now, as was his face. Nori had been eating well, better than he had for as long back as he could remember, and it was showing in Ori._ _

__“Odd,” Karill replied._ _

__Nori shrugged. He wasn't terribly fond of dogs himself, but nor was he very opposed to them. The slavers had kept dogs, but they'd been for tracking and protection, not violence. They'd been kinder creatures than their masters. “You're keeping the slavers' dogs?” He might not be fond of them, but he was glad to see familiar faces amongst the pack, including the one that looked more similar to a wolf than the others, with one bright blue eye and one amber one._ _

__It had seemed pleased to see the pair of them as well. It kept coming back over to where Nori and Ori were sitting, as though it were checking on them. When Nori looked up at now, he saw it had come much closer, and seemed to have its eyes on Karill. Not threatening; Nori had seen an angry dog before. There was an intelligence in this one's way, always had been, and while it wasn't about to snap at Karill, there did seem to be the impression that the situation could change at any point._ _

__“No point in wasting such good animals,” Karill told him. He was looking at the familiar dog as well. “She a friend of yours?”_ _

__“Maybe.” He held out a hand and the dog approached quickly, sitting by Nori's feet with her head held up proudly. “Hello there.” There had been times he had touched her before, and he does now too, resting his hand on her head. “Ori likes the dogs. He always has.”_ _

__Against his chest, Ori had roused a bit, so Nori lifted him up so he could see their friend. Ori held on to Nori's beard still, but he kept looking at the dog, then made a small baby-sound, wordless and quiet._ _

__The dog turned, and acknowledged Ori, tipping her head a bit, then rubbed her nose against him._ _

__“What a sweet girl she is,” Karill praised, and gave her a good scratch behind the ears. “Would you like her for yourself, my lad?”_ _

__“She seems to like Ori,” Nori said._ _

__“Well...yes.” And _this_ was the problem. Karill never said anything about Ori, not really. “But she likes you fine as well, obviously.” Ori was starting to become a bit restless against him, so Nori held an arm under him and undid the sling, spreading it out on the ground with Ori atop it. Ori lied still there for a moment before starting to kick his feet, excited at the freedom of movement. _ _

__The dog eyed him, but stayed by Nori._ _

__“Isn't it a bit cold for him?” Karill asked, after a very long few moments._ _

__“It's not so bad, today,” Nori said. It was one of those odd winter days where it was _cold_ , but not the sort that crept into one's bones and left a chill. “Are you very important, then?”  
__

“I am, in my way,” Karill answered. 

__“Then why didn't you look for Savri?”_ _

__Karill slumped his shoulders. “My lad, I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what you and Savri have suffered. I cannot tell you how it breaks my heart. I was never very good with words. Those were Savri's domain. I did not _know_. I was told Savri was last seen down in our home, and I just...no one had seen him. No one. I believed him lost, as so many others. And _you_...” _ _

__“And Ori,” Nori added quickly. “Savri bore him, too.”_ _

__“Yes,” Karill said, gently. “Yes, I understand that.”_ _

__Nori did not want to be here anymore, a pity, because it had been rather nice to sit out here with the dogs and Ori. Now he gathered Ori back up, Ori only fighting a little, and beginning to fuss when he realised he was back in the sling. “Hush,” Nori soothed. “It's cold. I'm taking Ori back into the camp.”_ _

__“My lad, I -”_ _

__“And I'm hungry,” Nori added._ _

__Karill did not say anything else, nor did he follow after._ _

__But when Nori rose the next morning, the dog in question was bound by a lead to a stake set in the floor in the tent, a makeshift collar of some sort of leather around her neck. When Nori rose, drawn by Ori's fussing, the dog did too, lifting her head and watching him change Ori, clean him, and then wash himself before dropping his shirt so Ori, now crying a bit more loudly, could nurse at last._ _

__After a few moments, the dog came and sat beside him again, and rested her head on his knee. “I cannot pay attention to you both,” Nori said, a bit irritable at the early hour and the fact someone had let themselves into his tent to leave the dog without waking either him or Ori, which meant it had to have been Savri._ _

__Savri was not exactly on Nori's good side as of late._ _

__The thing of it was...Nori had never heard Karill's name before that day in the tunnels. Savri never spoke of him, and Savri had never once told Nori that he knew of Nori's sire, that he had been bonded to Nori's sire. Nori had always just assumed he was from the same sort of union as Ori._ _

__Apparently that was not the case. Nori had known himself in Karill's face from the first glance._ _

__He had never heard of Dori either. He wondered what Dori was like, but asking someone like Balin felt a little too open. He was not too sure of Balin just yet._ _

__“She's a beauty.”_ _

__Dwalin, on the other hand..._ _

__Nori had taken the dog out for a walk about the camp, but it had quickly become clear she already had the idea of staying by her master down, and had no need for a lead. Nori kept the collar though, because she was awfully clever, and rather pretty, for a dog, and he did not trust all these strangers._ _

__Dwalin was crouched down in front of the dog, giving her a proper body-scratch, and she seemed to like him in turn. “Oh, what a pretty hound,” Dwalin praised her. “Where in the world did you find a proper wolfhound? She even has a mismatched eyes! That's a rare thing. People would pay with a hand for her back in the hills.”_ _

__“She was one of the slavers' dogs. They probably stole her as well.” The slavers had not mistreated the dogs exactly, but they had treated them the same way they had treated Nori and the rest; as objects, tools. There had been some he had seen being affectionate with them, but Nori supposed even a dragon could be playful, when it felt like it. “Karill has given her to me. She likes Ori.”_ _

__“Breed is known for it,” Dwalin said knowledgeably. “People get them as family guards. They'll bite out a throat before they let any harm come to their masters, and be as sweet as a biscuit with the family. They're clever as you know too. We had one when I was younger. Grasper could open doors and cupboards. Worked it out all on his own.”_ _

__“'Grasper'?” Nori asked._ _

__“Because when he was pup, anything he got in his mouth was his.” Dwalin seemed to be trying to start a sort of play-fight with the dog, but she instead stepped back from Dwalin, and sat at Nori's feet, between Nori and Dwalin. “She seems more like a safe-keeper, to me, not a taker.”_ _

__“Keeper,” Nori repeated, placing his hand on the dog's head. “Do you think it's a good name, then?”_ _

__Dwalin looked a bit taken-aback, then embarrassed. “I...I wasn't trying to suggest...I mean, she's _yours_ , I was just...” He stopped talking, and looked away from Nori. _ _

__“No,” Nori protested, worried Dwalin would leave now. “No, I meant that she hasn't got one yet, a name, I mean. And I like the way it sounds. Keeper.” He nudged the dog gently with his foot, and she shifted a bit, looking up at him. “ _Keeper_. That's what you'll be called.”_ _

__Intelligent the dog might be, but there's no revelation in her to the words. She would adjust in time, Nori was sure._ _

__“Keeper,” he repeated, petting her head with one hand and securing the other under Ori. “You're Keeper.”_ _

__“She'll be good for keeping you and Ori safe,” Dwalin said. He smiled at Nori, and Nori smiled back._ _

__He liked Dwalin. Dwalin was a bit big for a Dwarf, and seemed to be sort of still growing into his frame, but he was a gentle sort, and Nori liked being around him. He felt safer around Dwalin. “See how fat Ori is getting?” he asked, opening the sling a bit and lifting him out. “Hold him, he's so much heavier.”_ _

__Dwalin still hesitated, for just a breath, but then he took Ori, and Ori still looked so small in Dwalin's great hands. Practically anything would look small in Dwalin's hands, though. Nori thought he himself could disappear in Dwalin's arms, and that was a thought he kept to himself_ _

__“Look at you then,” Dwalin said to Ori. “You'll be a proper terror soon, just you wait, your bearer will see -!”_ _

__Nori's blood went cold, and he closed himself off, longing for Ori back in his arms so he could leave. “I'm not his bearer,” he hissed. “How dare you -!”_ _

__“No, no, I meant Savri!” Dwalin came closer, and pressed Ori back into Nori's arms, so Nori could tuck him away, Ori not exactly happy about the change and starting to gurgle. “No, no....Nori, I know. I believe you.”_ _

__It was earnest and too true, and Nori bit his lip, unsure of Dwalin still, despite not finding a lie in Dwalin's face. “No one else does.”_ _

__“Tell me who said that,” Dwalin demanded. “Tell me who said something different, I'll bring you their braids.”_ _

__Nori stared, first at Dwalin, then down at Keeper and Ori. He has no explanation for how he feels just now, nothing to really draw on. No one, not in the whole of his life, has ever offered something like that with so much vehemence._ _

__Ori began to cry._ _

__“Shhh,” Nori soothed into Ori's ear, resting Ori against his shoulder and bouncing him. “Shh, shh, my gem. It's alright.”_ _

__“I'm sorry,” Dwalin said, at the same time Keeper whined. “I did not mean to upset him.”_ _

__Ori continued to cry, his small body shaking against Nori, twisting and fussing, and Nori looked up at Dwalin, and offered Ori to him. “You try.”_ _

__It was not instant, but Ori began to soothe in Dwalin's arms, against Dwalin's bulk and warmth, after only a few moments. It was as though the outburst never happened, when Ori reached up with one small fist and grasped at Dwalin's beard, finding a lock and holding tight._ _

__The warmth in Nori's chest seemed to spread as wildfire all through him._ _

__“He's so sweet,” Dwalin said._ _

__Later, Nori would think of it as the first snap of frost. One morning, one would wake up and the world would be covered in ice and chill, as suddenly as blinking. Not quite winter, but the first sure sign of something to come._ _


	2. Chapter 2

“I don't think he likes me,” Karill confessed to Savri, keeping his husband close against him, to keep away the chill of the freezing rain falling outside the safety of the tent. “He thanked me for the dog, but it hasn't softened him towards me at all.” 

Savri made a small huffing noise. “Nori is more as a cat than a Dwarf. The more you chase him, the quicker he'll run. He's always been that way. Did not even like being held much when he was a babe. He was sickly then, of course. But he never outgrew the prickliness.” 

Karill stroked his Savri's hair, already regaining its old lustre after three months of proper food and care. “He was sickly?”

“I'm not quite as strong as you, my love,” Savri replied. “Turns out that included bearing. I was ill the whole time. I was lucky enough to still be with a caravan with healers when he came.” He adjusted against Karill, his temple resting on a different spot on Karill's collarbone. “At least I was healthy, somewhat, for him.”

There was a pause, a long one, and finally, Karill asked the question he had been mulling over for so long. “You're not protecting Nori, then.”

Savri sat up, away from him, and looked at him in a very sad sort of way. “If anything, he's been protecting me. I bore Ori, my love. It very nearly killed me, but he was forged in me, by Matko, if I had to guess, from his eyes and his ears, and how much Matko favoured me.”

The Dwarf who was once known as Matko has been dead since the day Karill heard his name. His braids had been burned, his ink seared away, and then he had finally lost his head to Balin's sword. 

“Would it hurt you so very much to know I am glad?” Karill asked. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Karill said, worried over the exact words. “I mean that you are strong, and Nori is so young.” He hoped Savri understood what he meant; that Nori was hardly old enough to bear, and the idea of his child, of any child, having been raped and forced to bear by slavers made him ill. 

Savri cupped Karill's face in both hands. “Matko had started to notice him.”

Karill frowned, not understanding, until he does. “Oh, my heart...” 

“He's our son.” 

“I am not condemning you,” Karill assured him, in complete awe of his husband, of his strength. “I am merely wondering why Mahal believed I was ever worthy of you.”

“Hm,” Savri considered, climbing into Karill's lap. “Perhaps he saw how much I liked you.”

“You called me an overgrown runt of a noble.”

“As I said,” Savri said, kissing him softly. “I liked you.”

“I liked you too,” Karill replied. “I liked you so much.” He settled a hand on the small of Savri's back. “I still like you.”

“I still like you, as well.”

♦

“Where's _nadad_?” Nori teased, holding his scarf up over his face. “Here I am!” He declared, dropping it, and Ori squealed in delight, kicking his feet and waving his fists about. “Where am I? Where did I go?” Again, he held the scarf up, and again dropped it, and Ori gurgled a happy sound.

Dwalin watched from beside them, content to observe the little game along with Keeper, who was resting against his thigh, her ears perking up every time Ori laughed. 

“Why is that so amusing?” Nori asked aloud. “I suppose even you'll get bored with it eventually.”

“Kíli likes that game as well,” Dwalin said, scratching behind Keeper's ears. 

Nori looked at him now, his eyebrows raised. “You have a child?”

“No,” Dwalin protested quickly. “No, Kíli is the youngest son of Her Highness, Princess Dís, daughter of His Majesty, King Thráin.” He said the titles without thinking, then felt the embarrassment of bragging. “That is to say...my bearer, Fundin, is related, so we have always been close, as families are...” And now he has made it worse. 

He fell silent, lost for words. 

Ori made a few little sounds, kicking his feet, and while Dwalin watched, Nori turned his attention back to the babe. 

There was no denying Nori was beautiful now he had put on some healthy weight. Everyone had always spoken of Savri's beauty, but Dwalin had not remembered him enough to judge truly. Nori though, Nori he could see, and Nori was beautiful. Dwalin was trying not to see it. It felt wrong, somehow, to look at Nori that way. He could not exactly say why, though. 

There was a cry, and Dwalin looked up along with Keeper. Ori was starting to make louder noises, no matter what Nori did to try and soothe him. 

After a moment, Nori looked at Dwalin, and then looked away, towards the fire, and said, “He's hungry.” 

“Do you want me to leave?” Dwalin asked, unsure. “I could take Keeper out for her walk.” It never occurred to Dwalin that this was in fact his own tent, the one he shared with his brother. “Or get you something to eat from the canteen.” 

“You wouldn't mind?” 

“Mind what?” 

Nori laughed a little and said, “No. You can stay. I'd like to have someone to talk to, in any case. He's not one for conversation during.” That said, Nori loosens the sash of his shirt and lets one side fall, Ori now settled in his arms. He quickly latched on and begin to nurse, Nori sitting back against the camp bed Dwalin usually slept in. Beside Dwalin, Keeper rose up with a stretch, and then trotted over to rest beside the pair, her head near Nori's knee.

“Nori...” Dwalin was not sure if the question he had in mind was the sort that should be asked aloud by someone such as him. “Savri is getting better. Stronger.” 

“What of it?” Nori asked idly, stroking Ori's hand, where the babe had gotten a fistful of Nori's beard. 

“I only meant...” There was no way to ask without angering Nori, he knew, so he decided to not say anything at all. All the ways he could think of to ask would make it sound as though he were doubting Nori's word about Ori's birth, and truthfully, Dwalin did not. He was only curious about the situation, about the way Savri seemed so uncomfortable with the baby. And also, there was Karill. 

“Tell me what you mean?” Nori asked. 

Dwalin's stomach twisted just looking at Nori sometimes, and now was one of those times. “My bearer and Karill are very close. They talk a lot. Sometimes where I can hear.” Often, Fundin seemed to forget Dwalin was even there, really, especially when Balin was in the tent as well. “Karill speaks of you often. And sometimes Fundin...they ask questions.” 

“What questions?” 

“My sire was very close to Savri. They were great friends. And Karill and Fundin are great friends. Fundin...Nori, no matter what Fundin believes, they will never go against what Savri and you both say. And if anyone does say different, they won't for long.” He did not know if he needed to say what came next. 

He did not, as it turned out, because Nori held Ori just a little closer and said, “They both believe I bore him, and Savri is protecting me.” 

Dwalin nodded. 

“Matko had started to pay attention to me.” Nori did not look at Dwalin, or even Ori. He looked at Keeper, and the dog came closer to him. Perhaps it was only her own curiosity, but she turned her head towards Dwalin, and again, perhaps it was only projection on Dwalin's part, but there seemed to be a warning in her face. “There came a night he came to the pair of us. He told Savri he meant to take me.” 

“I met him,” Dwalin said. Balin had asked for him to come along, so he had, and he had seen the one who had sired Ori. Dwalin had not been sure what to expect of the Dwarf. He hadn't even had the decency to lie about any of it. 

Instead, the shorn Dwarf, his burns still fresh from where his ink had been burned off, had said, “All this for some pretty little bed-warmer, and his road-born brat.” Then he had scoffed, and added, “I think the babe has my eyes though, what do you think?”

Balin had signalled at Dwalin then, and he had the grabbed the Dwarf, forcing him down to his knees and putting his foot on the Dwarf's back to keep him down so Balin could do the job properly. 

Now Nori told him, “Savri seduced him. To keep him away from me. He made Matko think he wanted him. And then when he realised he was bearing, Matko was...he called Ori his heir, he was _proud_. He wanted Savri as a present from the leader. And then...the leader...Sol...he said Matko could, if Matko would give him me.” 

Dwalin tried to look away from Nori's face. He could not. 

“Savri refused, and Sol said Savri and I would both be sold, and Ori as well.” He seemed irritated when he said, “I did not know Matko could not force Savri into a marriage because Savri was already bonded.” 

“So...no one...” _Rape_ was such an ugly word, and Dwalin did not know how to say it to Nori of all people, Nori who was beautiful, who shone so bright even in this terrible place. “Nori, if one of them did, I would...I would...” 

“Never. Savri kept me safe.” Against him, Ori made a little gurgling noise, and Nori winced. 

“Are you alright?”

“He doesn't have any teeth yet, so it's not too bad,” Nori said, as he switched Ori to the other side. Dwalin looked away to be polite, as Nori readjusted his clothes. “That healer, Master Óin, told me that once we arrive in the settlement, there will be clean supplies, and a goat. It won't be just me.” 

It was another odd little thing that was niggling at Dwalin, something he had thought was too forward a question. But Nori had told him something very intimate already, so he thought maybe Nori wouldn't mind. “Why do you nurse him?” 

“Hm?” Ori did not seem to like the change in position, and Nori looked as though he was struggling to get Ori to finish. “When Ori was born, Savri tried to nurse him, but he was too weak. The milk wouldn't come. The healer in our group said it could have been because Savri was meant more to be a sire than a bearer, in any case. Another Dwarf wet-nursed him for a bit, before we could get the supplies needed so I could. Savri tried again, but the birth was hard on him. He couldn't keep weight on for a time there, and he kept falling ill, so he couldn't be with Ori at all.” 

Dwalin could easily believe that. Savri was beginning to fill out at last, but he was still too thin, too weak, and he himself had seen how much assistance Savri needed to do something as simple as take a morning walk. 

“And sometimes being around Ori makes him sad,” Nori added, as he placed Ori down so he could fix his clothing. Very quickly, Ori made his displeasure known, and Dwalin thought to take the babe in his own hands and settled Ori against his shoulder so he could pat Ori's back, as he had seen Nori do before. 

While he did that, Nori rose up and went to the washbasin, uncovering the pitcher of water and pouring it in the bowl so he could wash his front, his back to Dwalin. Nori allowed his shirt to drop entirely, giving Dwalin a view of too much of Nori's skin.

He had freckles across his shoulders. 

Ori made a little hiccup sort of sound and began to settle at last. Dwalin turned his attention back to the baby, settling Ori down on the blankets and freeing him from what was left of his swaddle so he could kick and move about. 

He reached his hands up for Dwalin, and Dwalin obliged, holding out his hands so Ori could grab, getting one of Dwalin's thick fingers in each tiny fist. He gripped tight, trying to move Dwalin's hands around. Dwalin allowed him, admiring the fierce determination in Ori's face. 

“What is Karill like?”

“Savri really never... _never_?” Dwalin can hardly believe it, and could not think of any reason why Savri would have kept the circumstances of Nori's parentage from Nori. It was not as though Savri and Karill had been unhappy, not that Dwalin remembered them much. Karill had always seemed to mourn him so deeply, in any case. 

“He had reasons, I'm sure,” Nori replied. “Savri...never talked talked about Erebor at all, really. Not like everyone else did. But he's a noble, isn't he?” 

Dwalin nodded. “Savri was from a very wealthy family, I believe. He had a title. And Karill had one even before he rose in rank.” He mulled over his next words, wishing not for the first time he was half as clever as Balin, that he could be impressive towards Nori right now, that he could say things correctly. “Dori is your elder brother though, so the titles would really pass to him, unless he chooses to give you one, instead.” And knowing Dori, he would in the space of a breath.

For the first time since Dwalin had met Nori that day in Karill's tent, he seemed nervous. “Do you know Dori?” He asked the question much more eagerly than he had asked about Karill, so Dwalin chose to answer that one instead of the one about Karill. 

“Dori is beautiful,” he said, because Dori was, and that was always the first thing Dwalin thought of. “He has red hair, like yours, like your parents, and he braids it beautifully, with violet ribbons. He's strong too, he's won the title for the hammer throw every year for ten years now during the Durin's Day Festival. Clever, as well. He's studying to be a tea master, but he perfected calligraphy before my brother, even.” 

Nori sat down by the fire pit, and held out a hand, so Keeper would come to him. “Are you...are you close to him?” 

Dwalin quickly shook his head. He could compliment Dori until the sun rose in the west, so Nori would know to love him, would know Dori would love _him_ and Ori as well, at first sight, but there was something about him that made Dwalin want to avoid him, for the most part. He made Dwalin feel ungainly, and awkward. “He would never give me that much time,” Dwalin joked, instead of saying that. “He and Balin get on well enough.” 

“But you think he's beautiful.”

“Everyone thinks Dori is beautiful,” Dwalin said. “Even craft-wed Dwarves think Dori is beautiful.” 

Keeper rolled to her side, her head in Nori's lap. Nori began to scratch her head, and Dwalin smiled at the way her tongue lolled out in joy, and the way Nori smiled so softly down at her. “Are you sure he's my brother?” 

“Very,” Dwalin said without thinking, and looked away from Nori, back down at Ori, his face burning. The baby just gurgled at him, and Dwalin took comfort in it, the warmth in Ori's now-round face. He could not embarrass himself in front of a baby, at least. 

He did dare to glance up though, just the once, and saw how pink Nori's face was, and then he looked back down at Ori and tried to not say anything even more stupid. 

“He'll love you, you know,” he said, instead of something about the way the fire made Nori's hair even redder, and even turned the strands escaping a sort of golden colour, or the way the freckles on Nori's skin made Dwalin think of cinnamon scattered across the top of steamed milk, a rare treat he adored, or how warm Nori seemed, how much Dwalin wanted to touch him. “Dori, I mean. He's kind. And he's always wanted siblings.” Dwalin dared to look at Nori again, but only managed for a moment. 

“I used to imagine having an older sibling,” Nori admitted. 

“It's not always such fun,” Dwalin replied, waggling his fingers over Ori to entertain him. 

“Your brother, Balin, he's the heir, isn't he?”

Dwalin shook his head. “That's not it. I wouldn't want the title even if it was mine by right. I'm no good at the job, not like Balin.” Ori had gotten a hold of his fingers again, and was mouthing at one. “Balin is more like our sire. He even looks like him.” 

“I had wondered...” Nori said, starting to take out his braids, to Dwalin's absolute shock. “You're the image of Fundin, really, but your brother is very different.” 

“I -” Dwalin swallowed a bit heavier than he should have had to, trying not to peek at Nori with his hair undone. “Our bearer has always trusted him more. Because of how much like our sire he is. I tried to...this mission was how I was going to show I was ready. But seeing...things...I embarrassed myself. And Balin tried to protect me, as he always does, and that just made Fundin even shorter with me.” Ori seemed to be bored with Dwalin's fingers now, and let go of him. 

Unfortunately, he began to cry as soon as he did, small whimpers that turned to shaking cries quickly. Quickly, Nori came over, and scooped up the baby, trying to soothe him. Ori was having none of it though, and his crying grew louder. 

“Damn it,” Nori swore. “I need Loam.” 

“Loam?” It took Dwalin a moment to understand that Loam was a person, not actual loam. “Why?”

“When he gets like this, he likes music, Mahal knows why, and Loam was the only one with an instrument.” Nori sounded frustrated, but considering how loud Ori was now, Dwalin could understand. 

“Wait,” he said, and rose off the camp bed to look through his own things until he found the case containing his viol. 

He'd never played in front of anyone but his teacher, and his family, and his hands trembled as he started, but when he focused on the bow and the strings, the music flowed easily. It did not seem to do much for a long time, at least two songs, but halfway through the third, Ori was quieter, and by the fourth, he was resting quietly in Nori's arms. 

Dwalin kept playing, because Nori did not tell him to stop. He did not stop playing until the tent flap lifted and Karill and Savri walked in, Savri holding on to Karill's arm. 

“I wondered who that was!” Karill said loudly. “Can you believe how good he's gotten, my love?”

“He always had talent,” Savri said. “But I did wonder if you would have the focus.” Beside him, Karill had stiffened, and when Savri looked as well, he said, sharply, “Nori, my dear, your hair.”

“What about it?” He was sitting against one of the tent poles, Ori lying against his thighs, his hair all down, and perhaps that was why Dwalin kept playing, really. If he focused on his instrument, he did not have to look at Nori so undressed. 

Savri was looking at Dwalin now, and he did not seem pleased. Neither did Karill, for that matter. 

Dwalin's face heated, and he looked back down at his instrument. 

“Nori, dearest of my heart,” Savri said, so quietly Dwalin could hardly hear it, “You cannot have your hair down in front of Dwalin. It's considered very forward, amongst our sort.” 

“ _Our_ sort?” Nori asked. “Are you trying to turn me into a proper nob now?” 

“Nori,” Savri said, sounding annoyed. 

“Savri,” Nori returned, more viciously. “It isn't as though he noticed.” 

But that was wrong, and when Nori looked to Dwalin for some sort of confirmation, Dwalin could feel his own blush come back, and he could not look at Nori at all. He felt, rather than saw or heard, the way Savri shrewdly looked at him, and the way Karill seemed to be laughing. 

“I should be sure Fundin and my brother do not need me for anything,” he said quickly, eager to escape. He left his viol lying on the camp bed, a careless gesture unlike him, but he wanted to be as far away from the situation as possible. 

Karill started laughing aloud before Dwalin was even a step away from the tent, and he desperately hoped someone needed him for something out in the camp, so he could avoid his own tent for as long as possible. 

It was not as though he was foolish enough to have any sort of design on Nori. Nori was still adjusting to things, for one, and for another, Dwalin could never have offered Nori anything in a courtship. He had no real trade, and no title or household. And Nori was pretty, besides. 

He was still thinking about it when Fundin clapped him over the head, startling him bad enough he drew a knife when he turned. 

Fundin eyed the little thing, then Dwalin. “Lost in thought, there, my little one?” It was Fundin's little joke, with the pair of them. Dwalin was _little one_ and Balin was _big one_ , despite Dwalin being half a head taller than Balin at least, and considerably wider in the shoulder already, despite his youth. “Tangled up in some red hair, perhaps?”

He had been more obvious than he realised, then. “I did not mean to insult Savri and Karill,” he said, to be polite, when really he knew he had insulted Nori. Fundin would not see it that way, of course. 

“You haven't, my lad,” Fundin said, clapping him on the back this time. “If anything, Karill is hopeful. Imagine, a match between our children! On top of Savri being found, and a new son to go along with him.”

“Two sons,” Dwalin corrected. 

His bearer bit their lip, and asked, almost tentatively, for them, “So it's true?” It was almost frightened, and Dwalin could understand why, if he applied himself. “Oh, poor Savri. He was hardly strong enough to bear when we had Erebor. To bear in that place, by that union.”

“He was protecting Nori,” Dwalin said, before he could think better of it, and after he did, he internally berated himself for giving away something Nori probably intended him to keep a secret. “That is, I mean...”

“He's not yet grown,” Fundin said, “but he's pretty already. I imagine he got far too much attention for Savri's comfort. No, Savri has proven himself stronger than I ever suspected of him. More the fool me. He was always a fussy sort of creature, but Dori takes after him, and Dori's got diamond in his bones.” This time, Fundin's hand on Dwalin's back was gentle, a warm comfort. “Are you alright, my little one?”

“I'm fine.”

“No, you aren't,” Fundin argued. “You look so grown, I keep convincing myself you are. But you're not. Karill was right. I should have left you home with Dori.”

Dwalin burned with shame. “I'm sorry,” he said, feeling his throat tighten. 

But his bearer surprised him, grabbing at Dwalin and pulling him against them. “Oh, oh no, my little one, do not be. Do not be sorry for having a good heart.” They stroked Dwalin's crest, and even pressed a kiss against his shaved scalp. “I meant to say that I was wrong, and your brother was right. I convinced myself you were ready for this because I wanted you to be. Your brother was looking out for you, as he always does. He knew this place would hurt you, and I should have protected you as he did.” 

“I am fine,” Dwalin said, but he could not make it sound believable. 

“It's alright,” Fundin said, holding him close still. “The nightmares will pass, soon enough, as will the waking dreams. And until they do, your brother and I are here to keep you safe.” 

Dwalin felt as a child, but he clutched at his bearer now, his throat tightening and his face hot, as he began to weep, deep sobs that hurt his throat and his stomach. 

“Shh,” Fundin soothed, as Nori had been soothing Ori not too long ago. “It will be alright, my little one. I'm here. I have you.”

♦

Softly, Nori sang to himself, as he braided his hair up.

“ _Weep, do the willows, see their crying leaves,_ ” he sang, keeping time with his braids. “ _They have no blossoms to be shown, and so to the wind they cry, -_ ” 

“Why are you singing such a sad song?” 

Nori bristled, despite himself. “I just enjoy the song.” 

Savri exhaled hard. “Do not,” he warned. “I have grown tired of your moods, my little-heart.” 

“Let me add it to the list of things you have grown tired of,” Nori said. 

“Is this about Ori?” 

Nori was intending to be civil. But of course Savri had to say it. He had to. “People in this camp think I'm his bearer,” and there was so much venom in it. Nori had not realised he was so angry until now, how upset he was over the idea that every Dwarf in the camp seemed to believe he really was Ori's bearer, that he was an object of pity.

“I,” and Savri had the gall to _pause_. “You just care for him so well.”

Nori wanted to be angry some more. He wanted to be resentful, and hateful. He wanted to, so much. But all he could think of in the moment was when Matko had come for him, the way he had grabbed Nori around the waist and pulled him close, told Savri his intentions. And the way Savri, broken and too-thin Savri, but still so lovely, had touched Matko's jaw and _purred_ 'why would you want that whelp?'. 

The way Savri had sobbed the day after, when he thought Nori was sleeping. 

The way he had gone back to Matko's bed, again and again.

And the day he realised he was bearing, and it had to be Matko's. How he had wept, and now Nori knew why Savri felt so upset. Because Nori was not the child of a violent union, as he had always imagined. He had been made from love. Ori though...

Nori wanted to be angry with Savri, but now he saw why Savri sometimes looked at Ori, and became so sad. 

“It's alright,” Nori said, instead of fighting on. “I don't mind.” He did, but he loved his bearer and his little brother more than hurt pride. 

Savri knew, but did not speak on it. “You cannot wear your hair down in front of Dwalin. It's very forward, and he's so fond of you already. It will give him the wrong idea.” 

Now that Nori knew the implications, he was a bit flushed over the idea, but he was not regretful. And Savri knew him so well, he knew what Nori's silence meant. 

“Unless...it's not the wrong idea?” he asked of Nori. 

“I like him,” Nori said, as a secret.

Savri laughed, and Nori looked at him, surprised without knowing why, before he realised he had never heard his bearer truly laugh before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter now has [art](http://hattedhedgehog.tumblr.com/post/133874890932/you-can-stay-id-like-to-have-someone-to-talk) by [Hatted Hedgehog](http://hattedhedgehog.tumblr.com/). (It does show Nori breastfeeding, so probably NSFW)


	3. Chapter 3

“What if he doesn't like us?” Nori asked, attempting to braid his hair up in a style that was somewhat more respectable than the plain braid he wore down his back. “I'm not good at manners and all that. You've seen me around your bearer and Karill. You said Dori is really proper?”

Dwalin was playing with Keeper, fighting with her over a deer antler. The dog growled and tugged hard, but even a dog her size was no match for Dwalin's strength, and he was likely letting her gain ground to keep it fun for the dog. “What?” he asked, letting go of the antler so Keeper could crow over her win. She brought the antler to Nori, sitting beside him with it in her mouth, her ears perked and her tail wagging.

“Good girl,” Nori praised, scratching her ears with one hand. Satisfied, she laid down to gnaw on it, and Nori idly rubbed her side with a foot. “What if Dori doesn't like us?”

“You're his brothers,” Dwalin dismissed easily, keeping his eyes away from Nori. Ori was asleep in his basket, too well-fed and warm for once to bother with them, and with Keeper now disinterested in him, he seemed at a loss. 

Nori knew it was a bit wrong to have his hair undone in front of Dwalin now, but Dwalin was always around, and besides, Nori found he liked knowing he had the power to unsettle Dwalin, just a little. He'd never liked it before, the way people looked at him, the way the Dwarves who had been in the slavers' party eyed him. 

Dwalin did not look at him the way they did, not really. 

He finished his braid, a slightly prettier five strand plait, but it was tied with the same plain bit of twine his braid has always been tied with. He did not feel as a noble, did not feel he was at all like Karill or even Savri now, Savri who had seemed to cast off his shackles and poverty and poor health like an old coat. Nori felt as though he did not belong with the pair of them. 

“He'll love you, I'm sure of it,” Dwalin said stiffly. “I am.”

Nori was not at all sure he believed him. 

It did not much matter, because that evening, just before dusk truly turned to night, they could see the lights of the settlement they had been promised. It was freezing, but Nori and Ori were both under a bear fur gifted to them by Balin. 

“Even if he hates us,” Nori promised to Ori, who was watching him idly from his sling, “We'll always have one another, won't we?” 

The cart stopped at the gates, and there were many Dwarrows waiting there to find their loved ones and friends. Nori struggled to get down, Ori a good deal fatter than he had been before, but Dwalin noticed and came to him, putting two hands on Nori's middle, Nori bracing himself on Dwalin's shoulders, and Dwalin lifted the pair of them out and down to the ground. He did it as easily as Nori would have lifted a child, and his own face warmed for no particular reason he wished to examine. 

“It can't be.” 

It was a stranger speaking, but when Nori looked up out of curiosity, he saw they were looking at him. The stranger was older than him, closer to Dwalin's brother's age than his own, with hair as red as Nori's done in the most elaborate braids Nori had ever seen in his life.

“Dori,” Dwalin greeted, and Nori's clutched at Ori all the tighter. “Allow me to introduce you to your brothers, born by Savri.” 

“Savri is alive?” he asked, his eyes still on Nori. “Truly?”

He was asking the question of Nori, not Dwalin. “Yes,” Nori managed. “Yes, he is.”

Dori came closer, and raised his hands, gently cupping Nori's face. “He must have been bearing when the desolation came. You look so much like Karill.” He smoothed his thumbs over the hair above Nori's ears. “A little brother,” he said, then looked down, as though finally noticing Ori. “Two brothers?” 

Nori wanted to weep, the heat of it pricking a his eyes and closing his throat. “As far as we know, for now,” he confirmed. “Perhaps Ori is truly our sister, or a sibling.” He meant it to keep himself from crying, but there was something so comfortable in Dori, something that made Nori want to be acceptable to him. He felt every inch of his plain, dirty clothes, and his braid tied with twine, and he wanted to hide away.

“Ori,” Dori repeated fondly. “Oh, but he's beautiful.” He looked back up at Nori, his hands still upon Nori's face. “You both are.”

And then he embraced the pair of them, gently, careful of Ori, and Nori finally began to cry into Dori's shoulder. He was being absolutely ridiculous, and making the worst impression, but Dori stroked his hair all the same.

“There now, _nadadith_ ,” he assured Nori. “There now.”

At some point, Dwalin apparently chose to disappear into the crowd, perhaps joining his own family, and the dogs separated to their owners, meaning Keeper showed her face at last. By then, Nori was under the bear fur with both of his brothers, Dori having greeted Savri with no small amount of tears of his own. 

“Hello there,” Dori said to her. “Is she yours?”

“Aye, this wolf has decided Nori and Ori are her pups as well,” Karill said, his arm around Savri, as it always seemed to be. “Pretty thing, isn't she?”

“Yes,” Dori agreed. “She is very pretty _creature_.” There was emphasis on that last word, and Nori realised Dori was correcting Karill's use of the word _thing_. 

Nori had never particularly cared enough to do it himself, but when Dori did, he found his hand dropping to touch Keeper's head, sliding down into her scruff. 

Karill looked awkward, Savri more so. “No insult was taken,” Savri said, quietly. 

Slowly, it dawned on Nori just why Dori felt the need to correct Karill's language. 

“She's not a thing,” he said. 

In his arms, Ori was beginning to wake, and the seriousness of the moment was disrupted. He was waking hungry more and more, his belly adjusting to having what he needed rather quickly. Nori attempted to soothe him, placing a finger to Ori's mouth so he could bite and latch on, a small fix for now. 

“Let's go home,” Karill suggested, more assuredly. “I would have my family altogether and safe, for the first time in a long time.” 

“And in the warm,” Dori added, leading Nori and Ori along. “It won't do for any of you to be out in this much longer.” 

The house they're led to is small, snugly cut into the stone as are all the others, the front finished with fallen timber and windows with real glass in them. Inside, there's a young Dwarf tending a fire in the hearth, keeping the little house warm. They stumble to their feet now, and bow deeply to Karill. “It's good to see you home, milord,” they mumbled. 

They were not terribly subtle with the way they stared at Savri, Nori, and Ori, but nor did they ask any questions before they were excused by Karill, and left, presumably to return to their home. 

“That was Little Dís,” Dori explained. “Named for the princess, as are many. She is hoping to secure a place as Karill's page when she comes of age.” He led Nori and Ori to a seat by the fire, as Karill did the same for Savri, and opened a trunk against the wall, pulling out blankets. "For now, she helps around the house when we need it. She's a good lass.” 

Keeper was sniffing around the house, and without warning, rose on her back legs to sniff the herbs hanging the ceiling. 

“Keeper, no!” Nori commanded, and she obediently fell back on her haunches. “That was a bad girl, do not do that.” 

“No harm,” Dori said quickly, and reached into the ceiling to unhook a bundle Nori did not recognise. Keeper, on the other hand, was intensely curious about it, trying to get another whiff. “It's dogmint. We use it for training the dogs here, as a reward.” Keeper was being as rude as Nori had ever seen her, not using her bulk against Dori, but positively pleading it for it. “There now, have a whiff.” He crumbled up some of the dried herb in his hand, and held his palm out.

Within moments, Keeper was on the ground, her tongue lolling out and her ears dropping as they did in sleep, though her eyes remained open. Karill laughed, but Dori knelt and scratched Keeper under the chin. “Silly girl,” he said, and then reached for another bundle of herbs Nori recognised even in the dim light. He did not ask Nori anything, simply selected a few others and took them to a worktable in the kitchen area. 

While he did that, Karill looked around the little house. “It's only been Dori and myself for so long. This place only has the the two rooms, for now. No reason we cannot add more, of course. I always planned for the house to be extended, when Dori finally decided to start a family.”

Dori made a face at that, one that Nori had to fight back a laugh about. 

“For now, Nori and Ori can share with me,” Dori said. “It's cold enough we'll all be grateful for the extra warmth.” 

Nori did not argue with that. Even by the fire, he was not quite warm, and he worried over Ori. “Is there anything to eat?”

“Of course there is,” Karill said, and again Dori made a very impatient sort of face. 

“As it happens, I ordered a cold dinner this morning, when the ravens brought word of the caravan,” Dori said, unwrapping what looked like some chicken. “I ordered our breakfast and midday as well, so there's enough we should all eat well tonight.” 

Once, when Nori was younger, long before Ori was born, and he and Savri had been sold to the slaving party, they'd been owned by a slave house that rented them out to families as servants. Nori had been rented to a wealthy family, and every morning, it had been his chore to fetch all the groceries the cook had ordered, long before the sun rose, and bring them to the house. It had not been so bad, because the cook was a soft-hearted sort of woman. After he had brought her the groceries, she would give him some proper breakfast and let him kip by the fire for a bit before the bells rang for him upstairs. 

It was a strange idea to him, to now be sitting in a house that had enough money to have their own groceries delivered, to be living in such a house, at least for a time. 

No one asked him anything as he and Ori both ate, Ori content again now that his belly was being filled and he was warm. The other three talked about other things, Karill asking Dori about how the settlement had been faring while he was away, and Savri asking Dori all manner of questions that did not seem to have any sort of link to one another. He seemed desperate to know everything all at once, but then, Nori was too, so he listened carefully, chewing slowly and keeping Ori as happy as he could so he would not decide to fuss. 

“I never would have thought you for a tailor, my love,” Savri said, sounding sceptical for some reason. “Your apprenticeship had you set at being a tea master.”

“There's not been much demand for one of those in the years since the desolation,” Dori replied. “It turns out I have just as much talent and love for cloth, and that has been much more useful to everyone.” 

Nori noticed the detail in the embroidery of Dori's sleeves, and felt again very shabby in his frayed shirt and trousers. His clothes had not even been very fine when they were first made, and by the time they had fallen to Nori's hands, they had lost all semblance of respectability beyond the function of covering him up. The finest thing he owned was the fur Balin had gifted them. 

He must look even worse to a tailor. 

He finished his share, and Ori soon began to nod off against Nori, no longer feeding, so Nori did his shirt back up and threw a rag over his shoulder so he could pat Ori's back. 

“Where does he usually sleep?” Dori asked, his attention back on the pair of them. 

“In a basket,” Savri answered. “That one, there.” 

“Only for his naps,” Nori contradicted. “When he's not in his sling. At night he sleeps with me. He sleeps through the night, then.” 

“The bed is plenty big for all of us,” Dori said, very quickly. “Come with me, and I'll help you get you settled. We've all had a long day.”

Savri did not protest the continued arrangement, and nor did Karill, as Dori led Nori and Ori down a narrow passage and to a door already open, with a fire banked in the hearth, keeping the room bearable. Dori knelt by it while Nori stood in the doorway, holding Ori close and wondering what he should do. 

The fire was soon built up again, and Dori grabbed a box of tinder from the side and used it to light a lantern, illuminating the room more fully. There was bed, a proper one, the den lined with dark wood, and a wardrobe as well, made of the same wood. The den's curtains were drawn back, to show it went rather deep and wide. It was all so nice, so very nice. 

“Come in,” Dori said, and Nori did, watching as Dori placed a brass kettle over the fire. “You look as though you'd like a proper wash.”

“Am I...?” Nori tripped over his own tongue, his face hot, and quickly, he defended himself. “Water for bathing was never easy to come by. And it's been too cold.”

Dori walked past him, and shut the door. “I meant no offence, Nori, I promise.” The kettle grew hot quickly, before either of them could say anything else, and Dori took it off the fire, and filled a pitcher and washbasin. “Come on then.”

Nori came closer, drawn by the very idea of such a luxury, and hardly daring to believe he could have it. But there was still Ori, and Nori felt at a loss. 

He looked at Dori and very tentatively offered Ori to him. “Would you like to hold him?”

“I very much would,” Dori replied warmly, and took Ori from Nori. Nori watched more closely than he thought he would, afraid as he always was when anyone took Ori from him, but Ori did not seem to mind at all. He was mostly asleep, but he did stir a little when passed. Only for a moment though, and then he was truly asleep again. “Oh, but he is such a little bairn." 

“He is,” Nori agreed, sitting down beside the washbasin. 

The hot water put a shiver down Nori's spine, and he longed to crawl inside the small basin and soak his whole body. He contented himself with possibly the first proper wash of his life, but one he was clean, he was loathe to put his dirty clothes back on. 

While he had been washing though, Dori had been looking through a trunk by his wardrobe, and now he presented Nori with a clean shirt and trousers. “These have not fit me for an age,” Dori said. “I grew broad rather early. I was rather attached to the pattern though, and never gave them away.” 

They're clean, and far nicer than Nori's old clothes. He put them on, and sat there, feeling very contented and warm, occasionally looking at Ori, now soundly asleep in the middle of the furs of the den, while Dori inserted some warming pans into the fire. 

“I do not mean to press,” Dori said, after the pans were warmed, and had been placed under the mattress, Nori and Ori both tucked in under the blankets. Nori had never slept in a proper Dwarf bed before this, though he knew of them. 

Nori prepared for a question, another accusation.

“But,” Dori continued, “I suppose Savri is not truly well enough. I had never known him to be so thin. You are still growing though. A nurse can be found very readily.”

The thought was meant with kindness, but Nori shook his head, then said aloud, when he realised Dori could not see him with curtains of the den drawn, “We did that at first. But I did not like leaving him with a stranger, and nor did he. He cried whenever I left him. He only knows me. He needs me.” 

“A goat then,” Dori said, gently, and Nori felt Dori move, sensed how he touched Ori's back. “I remember being told once that a babe was supposed to sleep on their back. It is not true, I suppose?”

“I was told that as well,” Nori replied. “But he will only sleep on his back in his basket or sling. When we bed down, he will not rest until I allow him on his stomach.”

“Perhaps because he is fed before sleep,” Dori mused. 

“I always thought so,” Nori said eagerly, too much so, and he bit the inside of his cheek to quiet himself. “You're a tailor, then?”

“Aye, and tomorrow I will find some good cloth and get your measurements. For now, you can use my old things, but I will start taking it in for you. And I am sure I have more than enough scrap to make you up a better sling for him, and some warm clothes.” He sighed. “You have such fine hair too. We cannot afford any new beads, but you might wear my old ones if you like, and I have plenty of ribbon that would look very well in your proper braids.” 

Nori buried his face in the soft pillow, though Dori could not see him. “I have none,” he admitted to the darkness. “The only braid I have is the one you saw.”

There was silence, and then, “Savri did not teach you our family braids?” When Nori did not answer, Dori said, quite firmly, “Well, then that is another chore for tomorrow. For now, _nadadith_ , sleep. Both of you.” 

For all Nori was so tired, his mind would not rest when he closed his eyes. Perhaps Dori sensed it, because he offered, very softly, “Would you like to hear about your new home, here in Ered Luin?” 

Nori thought about it, then asked, “Could I go to school? Only I would like to learn my letters properly.”

The silence was so long this time, Nori wondered if Dori had fallen asleep. But then he heard, “Of course, my little heart, of course you might. And your sums as well, if I have my way. You'll not be as dim as Karill, I swear to that. Do you know, he was being swindled by the bloody turnip farmer here? It was absolutely infuriating, he has no concept of percentages -”

He fell asleep smiling over Dori's vivid tale of Karill being talked out of more than six coppers extra a fortnight before Dori realised the discrepancy, and there was some sort of quarrel that ended up with the turnip farmer proposing to Dori after Dori broke the farmer's nose.

He woke with Ori, the pair of them warm and alone in the den. He sat up enough Ori and him could be comfortable, and for once, he found himself peacefully dozing until there was a clicking sort of noise, and Keeper shoved her head in between the curtains. 

“Did you have a good sleep in front of the hearth?” Nori asked her. 

Apparently now assured of Nori and Ori's presence and safety, she walked away, the curtain falling closed behind her. Ori was done eating, so Nori pulled the shirt Dori had loaned him down, covering himself, then manoeuvred them both out of the den. Ori needed to be changed as well, he realised now.

He used the same kettle Dori had the night before, finding it already full of water, as though it were waiting for him. He hoped it was, in any case. Feeling a bit as though he were doing something wrong, he heated the water using the same hook Dori had, while stripping Ori down. For the first time, Ori did not fuss and pull away as he was cleaned, seeming to enjoy the hot water as much as Nori did. 

Ori was small enough to fit in the large washbasin, now that Nori thought about it. 

“How would you like a proper bath of your own, _nadadith_?” he asked, and set it on the floor, so he could heat more water and fill it. He made sure the water was not too hot before he placed Ori in it, but once he had, Ori seemed absolutely shocked, lying in the water, supported by Nori, and remained silent. “What do you think?” 

Ori kicked his feet, and the water splashed. That broke the silence, as Ori made a happy little noise and did it again. Then again, harder, and in more rapid succession, gurgling all the while, Nori laughing at him. 

Keeper perked up, and Nori looked towards the door to see Dori standing there with a basket. “Can I come in?” he asked. 

“It's your room,” Nori said quickly, unsure of what to do. 

“It's ours now,” Dori replied easily, and entered, setting the basket down, Keeper watching him with her tail wagging. Nori knew why when Dori produced a bit of dried meat from the pocket of his apron. “Sit, now.” Obediently, to Nori's surprise, Keeper sat. “Paw.” And again, surprise, as Keeper offered a paw. Dori shook it very agreeably, then gave her the treat. “What a fine young lady you are,” Dori praised, and picked the basket back up to bring it closer to Nori and Ori. 

“How did you manage that?” Not that he thought Keeper was stupid, only that he did not know she even truly knew commands. 

“She's too well-mannered to have been a wild creature before she was stolen. I would wager she knows quite a few more commands than little tricks.” He sorted through the basket, humming as he searched for something. “Is the room warm enough? You're so thin, I worried I had let it die too much.” 

“No, it's perfect.” Nori had never been so comfortable in his entire life, truly, and he found himself waiting for everything to go badly. 

“But you're wanting some breakfast, I would think,” Dori continued on. “I went down to the market while you all slept, and brought Savri his already. Karill had to report to His Majesty along with Fundin, so I would not expect him back for a time.” He found what he was looking for in the pile, it being a long shirt meant for a baby. “I went to visit a friend of mine as well, whose brother has a baby a little older than Ori. They were happy to give us the things the baby has outgrown.” 

Ori was properly washed now, so Nori lifted him out and dried him off. Dori was all too happy to take him, it seemed, and dress him up in the new clothes. 

“I brought you some things as well, actually,” Dori said, playing with Ori's toes. “It's not much, but it'll keep you clothed for now, and warm.” 

His old things were gone, he found, everything except the fur. He did not miss any of it. 

Every day that went by, Nori became more and more comfortable in the home, and less afraid of the dream ending. 

“There we are,” Dori praised one afternoon, finishing with Nori's hair at last while Ori occupied himself with some sort of toy a friend of Dori's had brought, a sort of arch with soft shapes and bells hanging from it. Sometimes, all Ori did was stare at it, such as now. “Your hair is so long, you'll need travelling braids as well, but I think this could do as your home braids.”

Nori did not get a chance to answer, because there came a knock at the door, and Dori rose to answer it. Savri was resting in the room he shared with Karill, as he often did these days, but the camp had stayed with him more than Nori realised; the smallest noise would wake him, and sometimes not in a pleasant state of being.

It was as though Savri had been keeping the hurt and pain of the years they had spent suffering behind a door, and now the door was opened. Nori would sometimes den down with Savri during the day, to reassure him, but Ori was becoming too active for it to work long. 

He was shaken from his worries when Dori stepped back from the door to allow Balin and Dwalin to come inside. Balin was wearing his long hair in a queue at the back of his neck, his beard now combed neatly and forked, but Dwalin was the same as he had been on the road.

He was staring at Nori. 

“What lovely braids,” Balin said, and Dwalin turned away at last, Nori's own face on fire. He hoped he didn't look ridiculous, and he smoothed his hands over the unfamiliar braids. The long braid at the back had been twisted and tightly done, and when he pulled it over his shoulder, he admired the intricacy of it, but still did not know how he looked. “Aren't they nice, little brother?” 

Dwalin nodded, then seemed to find himself at last and came over to Nori. “I thought...” He made an odd sort of sound, and looked back at his brother, then again down at Nori. “I thought you might like these. For your hair.” 

It was a packet of plain brown paper, but when Nori unfolded it, there was a set of ribbons bound within, dark violet and utterly beautiful to Nori. He'd never had a ribbon of his own in his life. 

“Thank you,” he said, as Keeper insisted on Dwalin paying her proper attention by butting her head against his leg. 

“Would the pair of you like to stay for tea?” Dori asked.

“I'm afraid we haven't got the time,” Balin said. “Our bearer has summoned us to meet with the king as well, and Dwalin will be expected to resume his duties towards the princes and the princess now that he's returned.” He sighed, giving Dori a familiar sort of look. “I expect Frerin has not been seen in the training yard since we left?” 

“Not that I've seen or heard. He has been a frequent visitor in every other place in the settlement though.” 

Balin looked even more unhappy now. “One day, that lad is going to find himself with his back against the wall, and no one to save him.”

“Let us hope nothing so dreadful ever passes,” Dori said, and while Nori had known him for only a short time, he recognised the firm dismissal in his brother's tone, and apparently so did Balin, because he bowed respectfully to Dori now, and gestured for Dwalin to come to him.

Dwalin paused in turning, and said, in a very forceful burst of words, “Do you think...would you like it if I came to see you the day after tomorrow?” He did not give Nori a chance to answer, keeping on with, “My duties will be finished by the afternoon, that day, and I thought I could...I could show you where to take Keeper for exercise.” 

“I would like to see you,” Nori answered. He had missed Dwalin since they came to the settlement, used to seeing him every day. He had simply missed Dwalin. 

“Then -” Balin had his hand on Dwalin's arm, steering him towards the door and saying something about keeping the king waiting now, but Dwalin was still speaking, saying, “The day after tomorrow. In the afternoon. I will come to see you.” 

Then they were gone, and Dori allowed Nori a quiet few moments of pleasure and no small amount of pride over the way Dwalin had looked at him, before he said, rather dryly, “The second son of Fundin has been followed about and chased like a prize elk since he came into his height, and he's never seemed to see a one of them. I thought perhaps he was not inclined.” He gave Nori a knowing sort of look. “I have been wrong before, though.”

“He's my friend,” Nori deflected. 

“He saw nothing and no one in this room except for you,” Dori teased. 

Indeed, Keeper had come back over to Nori with the air of a sulk about her. 

The ribbons looked brighter when Nori held them up against his braid. He wanted to hide them away, as a treasure all his own, and at the same time, never stop looking at them. They were smooth under the pad of his fingers, not a thread out of place, and when he shifted them, the light caught them in an entirely different way, showing the richness of the colour. 

“They'll look very fine in your hair,” Dori said. “And not only that. Purple is our family colour. Even if he did not remember that, Balin most certainly would of. It's a thoughtful gift.” 

Nori expected nothing less of Dwalin.

When the time for supper came though, and Karill and Savri had joined them, while Karill laughed over the whole idea, making something hot and embarrassed curl up in Nori's chest, Savri frowned. “No,” he said, and Karill stopped laughing. 

“Why ever not?” Karill asked, before Nori could. 

“It's not proper,” Savri replied. 

Nori clenched his jaw hard enough to hurt before he snapped, “We were alone plenty during the journey here.”

“You were alone in a camp. Even when you were alone, as you say, you never truly were. It's not proper, and worse, it's not safe for you.” 

The implication did not just insult Nori; it seemed to insult his elder brother and Karill the same. 

“He's Fundin's son,” Karill said tightly. 

“Because we have never known anyone's children to do anything shameful,” Savri shot back. 

“Savri -” 

There was some private conversation going on between the two of them, some history Nori did not know, though Dori did not seem to either. Either way, Karill and Savri only had enough time to fight without truly fighting for another few moments before Dori said, “Then I will accompany them. Ori will enjoy the sunshine, and I'm sure Nori will enjoy the freedom.” 

Karill seemed satisfied. “There now, you cannot have an argument for that.” 

“I suppose,” Savri said, but sounded reluctant, and after the meal, the home was tense until it was time for bed. 

Dori had invited Nori to undo his braids for bed the second night, and he had been ever since. Tonight, Dori undid his new ones as well, brushing Nori's hair out and then braiding it in something simple for sleep. While he did, Nori asked, “Why doesn't Savri trust me with Dwalin?”

“It's not you he doesn't trust,” Dori replied. “Dwalin is a little older than you, is all.”

“What does that mean?”

“I believe you know very well what I mean.” Dori tweaked Nori's ear, surprising enough he jerked away and batted at his brother. Dori turned Nori's head back around, and continued braiding his hair. “He's a good lad. Balin is more learned, and the heir, but Dwalin has a gentleness in him Balin lacks. Not that Balin is unkind.”

Nori knew what he meant. “Balin was the one who gave us the fur.” 

“But Balin did not bring you the ribbons,” Dori said. “And I would make a wager that Dwalin was the one who felled the bear that provided it. Balin is not foolish enough to try and take on such a creature. He is more of his sire's build. But Dwalin could likely rip one's head off.” He rested against Nori's head for a moment, Nori able to feel how he was trying to fight back a laugh. “Especially when he knew it would go around your shoulders.” 

He could not help but remember their arrival, how Dwalin's hands had nearly circled his waist, and again, his face heated. 

The day Dwalin was due to come around, Dori had done Nori's braids up with the ribbons, ending them with his old beads, and Dori had somehow made time to tailor some of the clothes Nori had been gifted so they fit him better. 

He admired himself in the fogged looking-glass that hung in the room Savri shared with Karill.

“You've always been pretty.” Savri was sitting cross-legged in the den of the room, holding Ori in his usual cautious way. “You'll not lack suitors now. Dwalin will only be the first to ask for your company.” Nori wanted to get angry, but he was not entirely sure just what Savri was trying to say. “Nori, the herbs you use, to be able to care for Ori, you know they make it very easy for a baby to happen, don't you?”

Now he understands, and he wants to be anywhere but in this room. “We're going for a walk. Dori and Ori will be there.” 

“You just need to be careful,” Savri cautioned, as Ori started to fuss. 

Nori wanted to pick a fight, point out that Savri was not one who should be pointing fingers. But his bearer was holding Ori so tentatively now, as Ori kicked and began to properly whine, and Nori instead had to fight to keep away the memory of Matko and his leers and his hands on Nori. 

“Come here, _nadadith_ ,” Nori cooed, and took Ori, not missing how Savri's shoulders slumped in relief. Back in Nori's surer hold, Ori soothed quickly, getting a grip on Nori's beard and holding tight in his little fist. Ori felt so small, so fragile, just as he did the first time Nori held him, and Nori marvelled over him anew. 

He tried to imagine really being Ori's bearer, carrying a child in himself, and was not all sure he liked the notion just yet. It was fine and well to care for Ori, but Ori was his brother. And Nori was healthier, he knew that, but he wasn't all that old, not even at his maturity. 

“I'll be careful,” he promised Savri, sitting beside him in the den. 

“Dwalin is a fine lad, I know that. I rather like him, actually, when he does find words. And I am sure he would never do anything that would hurt you,” Savri said. “He's made his admiration for you very clear.” He touched Nori's hair, his fingers tracing the ribbons. “I just worry. This isn't like the caravan. You have a proper future ahead of you here, choices. I do not want any choices taken from you.”

Nori hated to say he understood, but he nodded, because he did. “Dori said I could go to school.”

“And so you shall,” Savri agreed, sounding relieved at last.

The little house was small enough Nori could hear when there was a knock at a door, and Dwalin's voice asking after him. Nori's heart skipped a beat or three, and he could not find anywhere to look that helped him calm down. 

“I hope you enjoy your walk, my love,” Savri said, his hand hovering over Ori now. “And I hope you enjoy the sunshine, little one.” Gently, he stroked Ori's cheek, and Nori rested against Savri for a moment before he stood up with Ori. 

“You could come?” he asked hopefully, wanting to see Savri leave the little house. 

“I think I would just spoil the day for you.” Savri was already starting to settle back into the den, pulling the blankets back up with him.

“I'll tell you about it,” Nori said.

“I'd like that.”

Dwalin was indeed playing with Keeper, the dog up on her back legs with her paws on Dwalin's arms, the pair of them tussling while Keeper growled at him, biting at his shoulder playfully. Before he noticed Nori, Dwalin threw her down on the ground, and Keeper sprang back up, her tail wagging, attacking him again, only to be thrown back. She was clearly loving every moment, practically shaking with excitement. 

When Dwalin saw Nori though, he stopped, pushing her down gently, though she kept grabbing at his wrist, trying to make him play some more. 

“Hello,” Dwalin said. 

His beard and crest were clearly combed. Nori wondered if it was for him. He hoped it was. 

“Hello,” Nori replied. 

“I've packed us all up a lunch,” Dori interjected, taking Ori from Nori and placing him a sling just like the one Nori always wore. “And Little Dís is going to keep watch over Savri today, but there's a healer a house down who can come if needed, and will.” 

Nori hadn't noticed Little Dís standing in the kitchen, but now he did, the lass tying herbs into bundles for hanging. 

“I could keep the baby, too,” she said, sounding a bit sullen. “I've got three little siblings, I know how to take care of a baby.” She seemed to be speaking to Nori now, insistent. 

“And you can help by finding us a good goat,” Dori told her. “If anyone can, it's you.”

Little Dís looked at Nori, then Ori, and something very strange passed over her face. “You need a goat?” 

“Yes,” Dori confirmed. 

“Need something other than a goat, too,” she said vaguely. “I'll get a list from my mum. I'll have you a goat and the rest by tomorrow morning.”

“Good lass.” 

Nori wondered what she meant, but decided the time to ask was later. For now, he had the promise of time with Dwalin, and ribbons in his hair to prove it. He could ask later, could ask Dori. He did not even want to ask now, really, wanted to know nothing that could spoil today for him. 

“This is where Thorin and I go,” Dwalin explained along the way. “It's good for bow practice. Frerin never wanted to come much, but Dís still does, when she can get help with Fíli and Kíli. I thought you would like it, for Keeper.” He kept quiet for a few minutes, then added, so quiet Dori could not hear, “It's a bit like where we would find for camp. When you would go out into the open? I thought you would like it, too.” 

Dwalin led them along until they reached the wooden gate, and there, Dwalin opened a smaller door, a guard's door, and before long, they were standing in an open meadow, pine trees all around. The snows had not left yet where the trees were, but here there were patches of slowly greening grass and early wild-flowers, the sunshine chasing winter away. 

Keeper stayed by Nori until he told her to go run, and then she did, taking off into the grass before throwing herself down in a patch of it and squirming around on her back, making happy noises the whole time. 

In Dori's arms, Ori cooed, and Dori made a noise back, as he spread out a thick wool blanket on a patch of dry ground, and settled himself down, along with the basket. “Go on, then,” he said to Dwalin and Nori. “Just stay within hearing.”

Nori took the opportunity for what it was, and with no small amount of fear, he dared to grab Dwalin's hand. Dwalin's fingers wrapped around his though, and Nori couldn't fight his smile when he asked, “Show me where you practice shooting.”

“All right,” Dwalin agreed. 

Their hands stayed joined as they walked, and Nori could not quite look at Dwalin, though he wanted to. Every time he tried though, he had to look away again. He wanted things he could not quite name just yet, but they started with the way Dwalin's hands had felt on his waist when Dwalin lifted him out of the cart. 

There was a large dead tree ahead, not a sign of new buds even as the other liked it were starting to show new growth, and in the trunk were hundreds of notches, as though from arrows. “It got hit by lightning, years ago,” Dwalin explained. “Killed it, I suppose. It's never blossomed since. Does not rot either, though. See these marks?” Dwalin traced a carved set of circles on the trunk. “And see all the these ones?” He ran his finger over marks thicker than arrows shafts. “My throwing axe against Thorin's arrows.” 

The thick slashes were more well-placed towards the centre, the slighter marks from arrows all over the target. 

“Could you teach me?” Nori asked, fascinated. “How to use a weapon?”

Dwalin released him finally, and stepped away. “That's not...I mean...Karill...”

“I don't want Karill to teach me.” Nori grabbed at his hand again, holding one of Dwalin's in his two. Dwalin's hands were so much bigger than his own, Nori was fascinated. 

He silently asked Dwalin to spread his hand out, and Nori compared the two of them, how slender his own were against Dwalin's, the texture of the calluses on the tips of Dwalin's fingers, and all along the palms. Nori's wrists were slender enough he could touch his thumb and index finger against one another as a bracelet, but he could not even touch the veins of Dwalin's when he tried, could hardly even see the colour of Dwalin's blood. 

Dwalin had scars on his knuckles as well, pale slashes and maps over where Dwalin must have broken his fingers and knuckles at points in time. Nori wondered at something, and because Dwalin allowed him this, he dared something else, and pressed Dwalin's palm against his face. 

Slowly, Dwalin rubbed his thumb against Nori's cheekbone. “I will never ask again if you say no,” he said, stumbling over the words. “But Nori, I wonder if I could...if you would want me to...could I ask to see you properly?”

“Are you asking to court me?” Nori teased, trying not to get his own hopes up.

“I want to,” Dwalin said, stubbornly honest. “If you want me to ask. If you don't, I'll leave it. I can just be your friend, that's fine. I like being your friend.” 

And now, Nori found there was something in himself that hadn't quite trusted Dwalin just yet, not until these words. Dwalin was just too honest, too good to lie about something like this, and that last part of himself finally gave in. 

“You can,” Nori agreed. “You can ask. I want you to ask.”

And then he rose up on his toes, his hands finding the nape of Dwalin's neck, and Nori pressed his mouth against Dwalin's in a kiss, his first real one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter now has some [art](http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/post/133742461123/nori-and-dwalins-first-date-in-which-noris) by Sparkle!


	4. Chapter 4

“Lord Karill?” 

Karill frowned, and turned to look at the young Dwarf addressing him, squinting a bit more than he'd of cared to admit. “Can I help you?”

“I wanted to ask your permission to speak my intentions to your son, Nori,” they said confidently. 

Karill turned back to the task at hand. This would not require his full attention. “If you're looking to have Dwalin knock your teeth from your fool head, he's in the training yard now, I believe.”

The strange Dwarf kept on, stubborn thing. “I was told they were not officially courting.” And they had a bit of a puffed-up quality to themselves too, Karill noticed now. 

“Would you like to make that statement to Dwalin's axes?” It was only fair Karill got to have a little fun with these hopefuls. He'd always had the best time with the ones after Dori, before Dori reached an age where they could just ask him themselves. Whatever else was Karill to do with his day? “My second son has considered himself bound to Dwalin for some years now.”

In truth, Karill thought they had been bound the moment they set eyes on one another, those five years back. But that was not his business, even if Savri wanted him to make it so. Karill did not see much point in having the same argument they'd had a thousand and one times since the caravan brought his family back together, but Savri felt differently. They'd had it again just the night before, and again, Karill had said what he'd always thought: that the decision was never theirs to make. Mahal had made it.

Karill had ended up sleeping in the shop, of course. Little Dís had sympathised by throwing a bucket of water on him and telling him he smelled like the bottom shelf of a bar.

“But he isn't officially?” The stranger sounded awfully hopeful. “He's still free to be claimed?”

Sod it, this had the potential for some _very_ great fun, and Karill hadn't had a good night. The camp bed in the shop was old and so was he. “If you'd like to talk to Nori yourself, he's down in the training yard now himself, practising targets.” 

“Thank you,” the stranger said gratefully, and dashed off. 

Little Dís clucked her tongue disapprovingly. “That's going to come back on you, just you wait.”

“Aye, it likely will, but it'll probably keep that one from coming back,” Karill replied. “Seeing as how Nori is not in the training yard, because Dori is still at his work and you are here. He has Ori.”

Ori was finally starting to walk more steadily, slower than the others his age, but determined, all the same, and he was proving to be a very curious child, a dangerous thing at times, especially at the training grounds. He had yet to say more than three words though, which worried Karill. Dís' littlest was the same age, and he was already taller, and could babble a Dwarf's ear off. 

“Yes,” Little Dís agreed. “Nori thought he'd take him with him to the shops today.” She sighed, and gave him a shrewd look. “But _Dwalin_ is down there.”

“Indeed he is, this time of day,” Karill confirmed airily. 

Little Dís shook her head. “Well, perhaps if that one gets a good look at him, they might reconsider challenging him.”

“One would hope.” Dwalin had always been a big lad, even when they found Savri, Nori, and Ori, but the years between had made him yet bigger, thickening his arms and filling out his shoulders, until he stood the tallest and strongest amongst their soldiers. “I'm starting to think it's time they made their courtship formal. What do you think?” 

Little Dís shrugged. “I know my mum would never let me be formal with no one, not at his age.” 

That was something to consider. The truth of the matter was that Karill was at a bit of a loss when it came to Nori. Dori had never needed or even wanted Karill's intervention in whatever affairs he had, even when he was younger than Nori was now. Nori was not Dori though, however much he had taken to his elder brother. He was more impulsive, and had a quicker temper. Not to mention the issue of Ori. 

Better to wait a little longer then, perhaps. At least until Ori was a little older, and a little less dependent on Nori. 

Karill set aside his tools and sat down to think for a moment, Little Dís going back to her own work and leaving him be.

He did not know what he wanted for his son, truly. With everything soon to come to pass, he did not know if it was better for Nori to have a promise now, or to never have one at all, so he might find another life, should the worst happen. Could he though? Karill had only managed to carry on because he had no choice. He had Dori, and Dori needed him, even when the loss of Savri had been tearing Karill to pieces inside. He didn't want that for Nori either, a baby of his own when he was still so young. 

Too young for a baby, too young for a marriage, then? If they were truly destined for one another, what did it matter if they waited a few more years to declare themselves? But then, if that was true, what did it matter if they did so now? It would make Nori happy, at least, and Karill could not deny he liked the thought of securing Nori's future for him. Karill was feeling his age now, and Savri might pretend otherwise, but the hard lives they'd both lived weighed on them. 

He did not see either of them living to even the day Ori came of age, truly. Dori would be somewhat established, but Karill did not want to leave his younger sons' without some reassurance for himself that they would be taken care of. He did not want to leave the whole burden of it on Dori. If Dori were established and Nori as well, with a good match set as well, they could raise Ori in one of their households, or even a shared one, and none of them would want for anything. Karill felt he could leave this world easily enough as long as he knew his children would be well cared for when he was gone.

He settled back against the wall, tipping his stool back. 

“Never have children, Little Dís,” he said aloud. 

She looked up at him brow furrowed. “I'll keep that advice in mind, if it ever comes up.”

“Do that, lass. Do that.”

♦

“Ah, ah,” Nori said, scooping Ori up in his arms before Ori could get his hands on the cup he was reaching for. “You know better, don't you?” Ori looked at him, and said nothing. “How do we ask for a drink, little-heart?”

Ori carefully shaped his fingers into the correct sign and made the motion of a cup swinging. 

“Very good,” Nori praised, sitting down in the chair with Ori and helping him get his hands on the cup, careful to hold the bottom and control it as Ori took a sip of the heavily sweetened tea. If Nori was being fair, it was less tea with milk and honey, than it was warm milk and honey with a dash of tea. “There you are. Good?” 

Ori nodded, and took another sip. For a moment, they sat quietly together until Ori said, “Tea,” very firmly. 

“Tea,” Nori confirmed, kissing his temple. “See, like this,” and very slowly, he made the sign in front of Ori's eyes, then gently directed his tiny fingers into the correct movement. “Tea.” 

By the hearth, Keeper rose as well with a full-body stretch and came over to them. When Ori saw her, he held out both hands eagerly and called, “Dog,” so she would know to come to him. _Dog_ remained one of the few words Ori would reliably say, since it always brought Keeper or one of her pups to him. “Dog,” he repeated. 

Keeper snuffed and let him do as he pleased with her face, his tiny hands gentle against her fur. Many children would pull and tug, but Ori never did. He was as gentle with Keeper as she was with him. 

“We're going to see Dwalin today,” Nori promised. “Won't that be fun?” 

Ori did not answer, and instead struggled to be let down, so Nori allowed him, setting him firmly on his feet. Without looking back, Ori toddled away with slow and sure steps until he found the basket of scrap cloth and ribbon, and started to pull out pieces, inspecting each very carefully before discarding them. 

Keeper rested her head against Nori's thigh, and he scratched behind her ears again. “Sweet girl,” he said. “I think he might ask today. It's so stupid. I want to just ask and get it all over with, but no, I'm not allowed, because I'm younger. Isn't that ridiculous?” 

She was never very good at holding up her end of the conversation, but she listened well enough, rolling her mismatched eyes up so she was looking at him, her tail swishing against the floor. In the kitchen, her brown pup, Sand, now half-grown, rolled over just enough he could see the pair of them, obviously checking to be sure Keeper wasn't getting any treats. “Settle yourself, you great bottomless pit,” Nori said to him. “You just had your breakfast.”

Sand rolled to his oversized feet and trotted over anyway, past Nori and to Ori, flopping down beside him and the growing pile of fabric. 

Nori got himself ready while Ori was occupied with the fabric, now content to sit in the pile of it and play some odd little game of his own making. He had his blocks out as well, and was covering them with the fabric, then taking it away. Sand continued to lie beside him, since Keeper had followed Nori. While Keeper had always been Nori's dog, Sand had taken more to Ori.

Ori handed a toy to Sand now, an old wooden rattle, and Sand took it in his mouth, as gently as a lamb, and settled his big head down with it in his mouth. Unlike other children his age, Ori didn't babble at Sand, but Sand didn't seem to mind. 

Sometimes, Nori wished Ori felt the need to speak more, as Kíli did, so he could understand him better. The older Ori got, the further he felt from Nori. He was no longer a little babe in a sling, and Nori was no longer his whole world. Some part of Nori knew that was right, the way it should be, but he worried that this was only the beginning, that Ori would grow so far from him that no part of him would still be Nori's alone.

It was selfish, Nori knew, and silly. Ori would always need him. 

Once Nori was dressed, he picked Ori up and settled him on his hip. “Do you need the toilet before we go?” Ori shook his head. “Are you sure?” He nodded. “All right, it's time for you to go see your friends. Won't that be nice?” Whatever Ori thought of that, he apparently did not think enough to comment, instead grabbing onto Nori's beard and holding tight. Nori kissed his soft cheek noisily, and then offered his own cheek to Ori, getting a messy kiss in turn. “Keeper, Sand, let's go.” 

Both dogs followed close as they walked down to the gates, where Nori could slip out the guard's door. On the wall above, he heard a whistle, and when he looked up, he spied a guard, one he knew by sight, not name, looking down at him far too intently. 

“You become more beautiful by the day, Nori, son of Karill,” the guard said. 

Nori scowled and turned his back to the guard, walking on towards the meadow where Dwalin would be waiting for him. 

He wished Dwalin would ask. He wished he could ask himself. The whole charade was ridiculous, a silly little game to appease their parents, to appease Savri, who still wanted Nori to wait. Nori knew what Savri still feared, that Nori would be trapped by things he was not yet wanting, but it just made him angry that Savri still believed Nori did not know his own heart.

“Fíli,” Ori said, suddenly, startling Nori. 

He had not been quite able to bring himself to tell Savri and Karill that Ori could indeed say names, not wanting to hurt their feelings. He simply chose to say very few aloud, and for some reason, Dís' eldest was one of the handful. It was a bit mumbled and childlike, but it was very clearly _Fíli_. 

Ori struggled to be let down, so Nori did, and Ori walked off into the meadow, very slowly, one small careful step after the last, until he joined the little blond prince sitting in the grass. It was still so odd for Nori to think of Ori playing with a prince, but there he was now, sitting beside Fíli, and Kíli as well, who was very determinedly banging two rocks together. 

Not a dozen more steps away stood the princess herself, aiming her bow at the old dead tree. She fired, and her arrow sunk into very near the centre of the target, from what Nori could see. Beside her stood Frerin, pulling his bow as well. But when he shot, his arrow missed the tree entirely. 

“Sod it,” Frerin swore. 

“Maybe if you practised,” Dís replied, turning to Nori. “Hello. Dwalin's not here yet. He and Thorin are still with Father.” She smiled down at the children, and came over to crouch beside them, holding out one of her hands for Ori to grab. 

She was one of the few people who never seemed to mind Ori's odd little ways, including his lack of interest in being held and coddled by most adults. There were some he allowed more easily, such as Dwalin, and there were some he only liked on occasion, like Dís. 

Today, Ori grasped at her fingers, and Dís took it as the cue to hold both arms to him. “Hello, little one,” she greeted warmly, and hugged him gently, then released him before he could get uncomfortable. “Would you like to try my name today? _Dís_?” Ori stared at her blankly, but Dís did not seem to mind. “Perhaps tomorrow, then.” She stood up straight, leaving the children be, and turned to Nori again. “Has Dwalin spoken to you of anything?”

It was the way she asked that worried at Nori. It was not a hopeful sort of question, more an anxious one. “About what?”

“About Azanulbizar,” Frerin provided, throwing himself on the ground, and his bow as well. “I told you, Dís, wishful thinking. Even Nori's not that pretty.”

“What about it?” He knew of it. Everyone did. That great Dwarf kingdom, taken by something foul and wrong and unknown, according to the stories. More realistically, overrun by Orcs, and the Trolls they enslaved. 

“That's the problem, we don't know,” Frerin says, in that slow way of his he used when he thought someone was being stupid on purpose. It never failed to make Nori want to punch him, and he would've a long time ago if Frerin was not a prince. “Our grandfather and our father have been holding council with Thorin, and haven't seen fit to include us.” 

“Frerin,” Dís said, sounding completely done with him already, despite the early hour. 

“After all, what use could we offer? The spare and the maker of heirs...and more spares.” His eyes flicked over Kíli.

It was one joke too far for Dís. “One more word, Frerin, and there will be only one _spare_ to talk about,” Dís warned coldly, her hand slipping down to where her work knife was sheathed. 

“As though anyone would even notice,” he replied dismissively. 

“I would only have two babies to care for, so I would,” Dís snapped back. She shook her head, her loose braids sliding over her shoulders, and turned towards Nori with a more pleasant expression. “We were hoping Dwalin would have confided some sort of hint, to you at least.” 

Nori shook his head. “Nothing. I did not even know Azanulbizar was being talked about.” And it wasn't as though that was something he and Dwalin could ever even have the privacy to talk about, these days. They couldn't even sit by the hearth together in Nori's house without Savri insisting on a companion to keep watch over them. 

Nori did not like the idea of anyone talking about Azanulbizar, in any case, unless it was to say that the mines had caught fire and now no one could live in them. Better to be empty than a sanctuary for an Orc army. Nori had heard that no one could live near the mountains any more because of them and their raiding parties. 

A few times, when he was still a slave, they had been marched through, or even forced to bed down in, the ruins of villages Orcs had been through. The first time he had seen a row of spikes by the borders, he had not understood what was on the end of them, until Savri bade him not to look, and he had realised they were the smoke-blackened heads of the villagers. The rest of their bodies had been either gone, or picked over in such a way, Nori had not felt like eating anything himself those days. 

One of the children cried, and Nori looked over to be sure Ori was alright. It was Kíli though, and he was fussing about something Fíli had done. “No!” he screeched now, clearly. “No, no!” 

“Stop!”Fíli shouted, pushing his brother away. 

“Both of you, stop,” Dís scolded, kneeling down between them and separating them fully. “What's wrong?” 

Kíli was beyond words now, crying miserably and burying his face in his mother's side while she rubbed his back. Fíli, on the other hand, had climbed to his feet and left the blanket. Ori was determinedly playing with a long piece of grass, so Nori joined the group, sitting down in the grass and pulling Ori into his lap. He never liked it when people fought. Sometimes it upset him enough he would begin to cry himself. 

Kíli had a torn flower clutched in one fist, and Nori realised what must have happened at the same time Dís did. “Did Fíli tear your flower?” she asked, gently. Kíli nodded. “I'm sure he did not mean to. Fíli, you did not mean to, did you?” 

“He wouldn't let me see it,” Fíli said, mulishly. 

“That doesn't give you the right to take it,” Dís said. “Tell your brother you're sorry.” 

“Sorry,” Fíli muttered, not sounding very sincere, but doing as he was told. Before Dís could try and push the matter, Fíli perked up and shouted, “Uncle Thorin!” and took off towards the treeline, where Thorin and Dwalin were emerging. 

Nori looked over hopefully, but Dwalin only nodded in his direction. Nor did Thorin hold out his arms for Fíli. Instead, he called out for Dís and Frerin to come to him, but not Nori, and Dís turned to him, asking, “Do you think you could handle the three of them on your own for a moment or two?” 

“Of course,” Nori agreed, reaching out for Kíli so he would come to Nori. Thankfully, he went easily instead of clinging to his mother. 

He wanted to be included in the circle, but he apparently wasn't important enough to warrant it. It wasn't as though he was much of a warrior, not really all that interested, if he was honest. But he was almost Dwalin's chosen, and some petty part of him thought that counted for something. He was good enough to mind the royal children though, it seemed. 

“I'm hungry, Nori,” Kíli said. “Can I have my snack?” 

“Of course.” Well, he might be resentful of being left out, but that was not Kíli's fault, and he was an awfully sweet child, if not a bit of a crier. Dís had left a bag on the blanket, and when Nori looked within, he found the biscuits Dís had brought wrapped in a brown paper. “There we are.” 

Without being asked, Fíli broke his biscuit in half and gave one half to Ori. Ori signed _thank you_ , then said, aloud, “Thank you.” It was a bit mumbled, but still spoken. 

Watching Fíli and Kíli begin to chatter again, while Ori stayed quiet, it worried at Nori again that Ori spoke so little, still. Some dark part of him knew that the first years of Ori's life were to blame, that Nori had not managed to shelter him as he had convinced himself he had. He had failed, and just thinking of it made him want to gather Ori close to him again. Ori was already on his feet though, wandering away into the grass and seemingly just fine on his own, though Sand was following close. 

From the little huddled group, Nori heard, “What?” and “He's gone mad!” 

Frerin's voice was clearly heard saying, “What does your brother say?” to Dwalin, but Dwalin did not answer. Nori met his eyes, but only for a moment, because Dwalin looked away from him quickly, back to the others, his voice too low for Nori to hear. 

Like she could sense his fear, Keeper wandered back to Nori and laid down beside him, her great head against his thigh. “Hello, sweet girl,” he murmured to her, scratching her just under her right ear, like she liked. She nuzzled his leg, and Nori bent to kiss her head. She smelled like grass and wet fur, and Nori knew she'd need a good brushing with the metal comb when they got home to make sure all the damp was out. Dori would be upset if she got the wet on his fabric or his tea. Well, until she made her sad face, and Dori forgave her. 

Sand made a sound, and Nori's head snapped up, already finding his feet, but it was only Dwalin, who stooped to scoop up Ori on his way over to Nori. “Hello, little one,” he said to him, as Ori grabbed onto a braid in Dwalin's beard. Sand trotted along beside them, somehow managing the meadow and Dwalin's pace with his gangly legs. Once the trio reached Nori, Dwalin cupped the back of Nori's neck, pulling him in so they could touch their temples together. “And you, my love.” 

Between them, Ori made a noise, so Dwalin drew back, and let him down. He seemed happier down in the ground, but he hid between their legs a little, his fingers tightly grasped in Nori's trouser leg. Sand circled them a few times, then flopped down a foot away, against Keeper. 

“I've been near those mountains,” Nori said, because he was not an idiot. “I've bedded down near them, Dwalin, there's -”

“Ered Luin is dying.” 

Nori swallowed. “Things will get better.”

“These mountains cannot support us much longer. And we have never been welcome here. The Men here, they despise us. They want us gone.” Dwalin pressed his mouth against Nori's, and Nori kissed back out of habit. “Nori, if we can take Azanulbizar -”

“They keep trolls,” Nori hissed. “They keep them, and they blind them, and they beat them until they're mindless. Do you know what a mountain troll can do in their right mind? Much less one treated like a pit dog?” Because he looks at Keeper and he thinks of could have happened to her, his precious girl, and how viscous she could have been, if things had been different. “No. It's not worth it. I'd rather fight Smaug.”

Dwalin sighed. “Our king believes we can take back Azanulbizar.” 

“And what does Thorin think?”Nori asked out of some blind hope that Thorin would have the sense to put a stop to this whole matter. If their people could not stay here in Ered Luin much longer, than they would find other mountains. But not that cursed and sick stone. Not that place. “Thorin's not an idiot, he knows that place is nothing but a deathtrap -!”

“A war march to retake Azanulbizar will give me a proper commission,” Dwalin cut him off. “A real commission, Nori. A real rank in the royal army. A _place_.”

“You're a noble's son.”

“I'm the second son, and I have nothing to show Savri and Karill that I can provide you with a proper home and future!”

Nori stared up at him, aware still of how Ori had left them the moment they had raised their voices, aware of how Ori had gone to Fíli, Sand following. He was aware of Keeper by his side, her eyes on Dwalin, her lips starting to curl in warning. She did not like when people raised their voice at Nori, and she was not hesitant to show her teeth to anyone who did. Not even when it was Dwalin. “Shh,” Nori said, touching her head. “Easy, sweet girl.” He could not look away from Dwalin though, not even for her. He could not look away from Dwalin's eyes, as he looked down at Nori. “I don't need to be provided for.”

Dwalin cupped Nori's face, and he was always so warm, and his hands were so big on Nori's face, so _right_. “I cannot ask with a clear conscience unless I know I can take care of you, and whatever might come from a union. You, and...and whoever else.”

“I'm not a child,” Nori insisted, desperate for what Dwalin was hinting at. “I'll have a trade proper before long, I've almost finished my apprenticeship.”

“A home costs money, Nori. And you need somewhere to build one. I will not begin our family in this place, where they will have no future. If I march in this campaign, I will earn a place properly, and we will have a home where we can live safely, and all that might come will as well.” 

There was something like a question there, something in the way Dwalin was looking at him. 

“Come tonight,” Nori said quickly. “Come tonight, and ask Karill and Savri.”

“No,” Dwalin said, and for a moment, Nori thought his heart might break. But then Dwalin said, “I'm not asking them before I ask _you_.”

He laughed, and choked on it, because this was not ever how he envisioned being asked. Being told Dwalin was willingly going to his death, and being asked for a promise in almost the same breath. Having an audience, as well. 

“What's got you looking so starry-eyed, then?” Frerin, _of course_ Frerin, has invited himself to stroll over to the pair of them instead of the children. He looked between them, and something passed over his face. “Ah,” he said. “ _Ah_.”

“Frerin, did you spoil it?” Dís demanded, sitting down beside Kíli. “You did, didn't you?”

“How was I supposed to know he'd finally found his spine?” Frerin turned around and went back towards her, sounding put out. “No one ever tells me anything.”

“That's because you never shut your gob long enough for anyone else to get a word in,” she replied sharply. Frerin made a rude gesture at her in turn, and she quickly snapped, “So help me, Frerin, if I catch the children mimicking you, I'll have your braids!”

The threat falls on deaf ears, Frerin already going back to his bow. 

“Damn him,” Nori said, as he looked for Ori and spied him a little further than Nori was comfortable with him being, though Sand was still close. “Ori!” He made to go to him, but Dwalin stopped him with a hand on Nori's waist. 

“Nori, it...it is...you do want to?” 

It was in this place, Nori remembered suddenly, that he had kissed Dwalin for the first time. It wasn't anything he'd ever forget, but every now and then the memory would strike him as fresh and sudden as if it were only a moment ago. 

Carefully, he intertwined their fingers, and rose on his toes. “Of course,” he said, his throat tight. 

Dwalin kissed their joined knuckles, his beard soft against Nori's skin. “I'll come tonight,” he promised. 

He did not walk them home, Thorin requiring Dwalin to leave with him before the afternoon was half done, but Dís did, Kíli sitting in a sling on her hip and Fíli holding her hand. Ori was dozing against Nori's chest for most of the way, content for now. 

“Where will Ori live, then?” Dís asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When you and Dwalin marry, where will Ori live? He won't be very much older by then. He'll still need care.” She balanced Kíli on her hip a little, adjusting the sling. 

It had not even occurred to Nori to wonder about it. “He'll stay with me, of course.” Savri could not care for Ori, not alone, and Karill and Dori both had too much to do themselves. “Dwalin adores him. He won't mind.” 

“I didn't think he would,” Dís agreed. “I only wondered how Savri and Karill would feel about it. He's Savri's child, and there could be some fuss made about that.” 

She had a point, and Nori held Ori in his arms just a little tighter. “Ori needs me. He will stay with me as long as he does. Savri is too ill to care for Ori.” And besides, Nori had always been in Ori's life. To lose him would be far too much for Ori, especially after everything. “Besides, Savri would not make any fuss. He knows it would be the right choice.”

“Your presume too much,” Dís said. 

“What do you mean?” 

They were at the front step of Nori and Ori's home, so Dís turned and faced Nori. “You're assuming they'll consent at all.” 

She left him at that, waving good-bye and taking Fíli by the hand again so he'd follow along. By then, Sand was already trying to open the door with his head, while Keeper sat by Nori patiently. 

“You great dunce,” Nori chided him, but turned the latch so it would finally open. “There now, happy?” 

Sand seemed more upset than anything else when he saw his sister, Glass, was already inside and eating from her bowl, Dori chopping up something for their supper. “Do not fuss,” Dori chided, and set the other bowl down for him, the dog eating noisily, pushing the bowl across the floor in his eagerness. “Oi, one would think we starved you, you overgrown whelp.” 

“What's for supper?” Nori asked, kneeling down so he could seat Ori comfortably on the rug by the hearth. Ori showed no sign of wanting to stand, instead grabbing at his fabric basket, which someone, likely Dori, had cleaned up from earlier. Nori left him to it, and crossed the room to Dori, who was making some sort of turnip stew, from the smell of it. 

“What a strange thing,” Dori said, “that today one of Balin's apprentices came by with venison for our larder.” He did not look up from the nettles he was chopping, just stirred them into the pot hanging over the low fire. It was the large pot, the one Dori rarely used, too big for the stove, and only used when Dori was expecting company. “Balin sent a very kind note as well, asking for an invitation to tonight's supper, for him and his brother.”

He looked at Nori then, and couldn't hide his smile, and he _knew_ , he knew, and Nori did not know if he himself was ever going to be able to make his face do anything but smile ever again, but he did not care, he did not care at all. Dori did not have to say anything, just wrapped an arm around Nori and knocked their heads together, smiling. 

Dwalin came with Balin when the mountain clock struck the evening hour, and for once, his beard combed neatly, and his thick warhawk braided and twisted down against his skull, hanging down his back with the proper beads in. 

Karill had been sitting by the hearth, playing some game with Sand and Glass that Keeper was too old to have much interest in, much happier to lay against the stones of the hearth and provide Ori with companionship, and a resting place, as he played some sort of silent game with his blocks that required intense concentration. He noticed Dwalin first, using Keeper to help himself to his unsteady feet, and toddling over, holding his arms up to Dwalin. 

“Hello, little one,” Dwalin greeted him, kneeling so he could lift him up into his arms. 

“Balin, Dwalin,” Karill said, rising from his chair. “Are you joining us this evening?”

Balin ran his hand down his forked beard, and nodded. “Aye, we are, I hope.”

“You hope?” There was a moment where Karill frowned, half-smiling, and then he really seemed to look at Dwalin, took in the way his hair was braided, his beads. Then he turned his eyes on Nori, and sighed. “I see.” He glanced back at Savri, who was pulling his wrap around himself, his eyes on Nori in a way that put Nori's hackles up. “I see.” 

The room was as a silent as a tomb for only a moment, before Dori took over, welcoming the pair in and making some sort of small conversation with Balin, leading him towards the hearth and the family. 

Nori took the brief moment of privacy, and said, “I like your hair this way.” He had come close enough he could run his fingers over the woven braids at Dwalin's scalp, close enough he could smell the oil he must have used to clean his beard before he came. 

“You do?” He did something then he had never dared do before in Nori's home, and pressed a kiss to Nori's temple. “Perhaps you could help me do it this way more often?” And as though that were not enough, Dwalin turned his head towards Ori, content in his arms for now, and asked, in a sweet voice, “It will be good practise for you, little one, as you grow.” 

And perhaps Dís had spoken to Dwalin before the evening, reminded him of Ori, but Nori did not care, because this was Dwalin telling Nori that a promise between them included Ori. 

“Yes,” Nori agreed, and tried to keep his voice even. “If he can manage your hair, he'll be ready for anything.” 

It was a moment, brief, because then Karill said, “Nori, a word?” and Nori had to go, because it was not a request. He followed Karill to where Savri now stood, in the doorway to his and Karill's bedroom, his wrap tight around himself. 

“I was only a little older than you when Dori was born,” Savri said distantly, staring off into the dark bedroom instead of at Nori. “You have no idea, Nori. You have no idea. What it's like to be married so young, to be bound, to have a child, to be separated and suffer.”

Nori bit his tongue, because now was not the time, now was not the time to bring up Ori and just how much Nori had suffered. Not now, not when his chance at happiness rested on Savri's word. “It won't be that way for us.”

Savri turned away from him entirely, and retreated into the bedroom, and yet further, into the den, behind the curtain, leaving Nori standing there with Karill.

“It won't,” Nori said, to Karill, and to himself, just a little, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with [chapter art](http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/post/152403822193/are-you-reading-themarchrabbits-sparks) by [Sparkle](http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/)!
> 
>  
> 
> "Where the fuck have you been?"
> 
> The truth is I've been depressed. And I lost the words. They were gone. I couldn't write anything. There was nothing in my head, no stories, no characters, and I cried over it so many times. It felt like someone had ripped out my heart. I was miserable over it. 
> 
> So this might not be very good. But this story is the one bringing the words back, and it's not even mine. But finally, I can write something again. And goddamn, but I am crying for that too.


	5. Chapter 5

The wind blew harder, and in Nori's arms, Ori shook. 

“Shh,” Nori attempted to soothe him, as he had for the past few days, but if it did anything, it did not show. “I promise, little love, it will end soon.”

He had been making that promise ever since the storm started, but since it had shown no sign of stopping for a week straight, he doubted Ori even believed him any more. Even now, something in the distance made a great cracking noise, loud enough Ori shot up in his arms, and struggled away. 

Nori let him go, signing at him to get beneath the table, where the dogs were already hiding. He stood up, breath tight, waiting for any sign of more damage, but while the wind still howled, there was no other ominous noises for a time. 

“Tell me that wasn't the gates,” Dori asked, coming out of their parents' bedroom. 

“Do you want me to lie?” 

Dori shook his head. “No, I suppose not.” He looked around the room, checking to make sure the weapons were where they were supposed to be, within easy reach. “The Men will not venture out in this, at least.”

“The wolves will,” Nori replied without thinking, cursing himself when Ori made a soft, scared sound, and hid his face away in Sand's scruff. He made his way over to Ori quickly, crouching down. “No, no my little love, I was only joking. Even wolves stay in their dens when the weather is like this. And even if one did, you know these worthless mutts would have them for a quick supper.” It seemed to do the trick for now, but Nori didn't expect it to last. 

It still tore at his heart something fierce to look down and see only two dogs. Even now, he found himself reaching out a hand for Keeper, only to be reminded of her loss when she did not come. He especially missed her now, when he would have liked a bit of comfort himself. 

“Nori?” Dori called out to him, so Nori went over to where Dori still stood, the bedroom beyond dark except for the fire. Between that and the wind howling, Nori cannot hear Savri's laboured breathing, a sound that had kept them all awake for months now. “Nori, I know you don't want to hear it...”

“He _can't_ ,” Nori insisted stubbornly, keeping his voice low. “He survived slavery, he survived me and Ori both, he survived Smaug, he will not be taken by a _cough_.” He shook his head. “He will at least make it until Karill comes home.”

His brother was not in the habit of humouring stupidity, and Nori knew it, so he didn't know why it bothered him so much when Dori said, quietly, steadily, “Nori, we have not had a Raven in almost a year.” 

They had not, but Nori could not allow himself to think too much along that vein of thought. Azanulbizar is very far, after all, and it had been full of Orcs. There are a thousand and one reasons that letters have dwindled. “If they're in a siege, they'll keep the Ravens close. They won't want Orc hunters to catch them and learn anything useful.” 

“Perhaps,” Dori said, indulging Nori and himself as well, Nori suspected. “But either way Nori, even if he survives this, he'll be even weaker than before. One more sickness, and we will have to accept the truth of things.” Dori reached out, and placed a hand on Nori's shoulder. “He already has. He has for a long time now, you know it.” 

“I don't know anything.” Nori knew he was being unreasonable.

It did not matter much to Dori, he knew Nori too well. “Before Karill left, and after that whole trouble with you and Dwalin, and Savri had calmed down, he and Karill spoke to me about these things. They were both well-prepared.” He pulled Nori close, and Nori gave in, settling against him. “It will be hard, I'm not going to say otherwise, but we will always have one another, and Ori as well.”

“And when Dwalin comes back?”

Dori sighed, running a hand down Nori's braid. “Then I suppose I will have to learn to take care of a third brother as well.” 

“He will come back,” Nori insisted. “He promised.”

The wind continued to howl, though soon Dori went out when a knock came asking for help. It had indeed been a section of the gate that had fallen, and they needed the strongest in the settlement, all those who could stand in the bracing wind and work. Since Dori was easily one of the strongest in the whole settlement, it had been no wonder their door was knocked on.

Nori sat by the hearth, even though he wanted to go to Savri. He had been forbidden though, since he had never been as strong as Dori, and Savri did not want him catching ill either. Instead, he sat out here, alone, Ori safely in bed with Sand and Glass. 

In the quiet, he could not escape his own mind, with his knees drawn to his chest, no matter how loud the wind roared. 

He wondered how the campaign was going. He needed to believe it was going well, but it had been a long time since they had left. At first, Dwalin had written regularly, but the letters had dropped off last year, as had everyone else's. Dori had received word from a few friends that he had not shared with Nori, only telling him that as far as they knew, Karill and Dwalin were still alive.

When Nori had asked how they were still able to send word, but not Karill or Dwalin, Dori had given him a look that told Nori to mind his own business. Dori knew a great many people who had access to a great many things that they should not have, but his elder brother kept secrets tighter than any lockbox could hope. 

It had been comfort enough to know Dwalin was still alive, though Nori was sure he would know even without word, that he would feel it in his own heart. 

What did a promise matter, when they felt how they did?

Nori had not spoken to Savri or Karill for nigh on a month unless necessary after Dwalin and Balin had come to the house that night. Savri had refused to come out of the bedroom again that night, and Karill had only told Dwalin they had to think on the issue. It had only been by the interference of Dori and Balin that anything had changed. 

Somehow, between the pair of them, they had managed to talk Fundin around into coming down and speaking to Karill on the matter. Fundin had not seemed to see what the problem was, but Nori had been told by Little Dís that Savri had more than made his opinion clear, shouting up a storm until he had fallen into a coughing fit. 

And then, Little Dís had told him that Karill, not Fundin, had finally made his own opinion clear.

“Never seen Master Karill stand up to Master Savri like that,” Little Dís had said, wide-eyed. “But I thought you'd like to know. Master Karill told Master Savri something real awful too. I don't think he would have said it if they knew I was sleeping up in the eaves.” She had looked about, like she was nervous, and then said, “Master Karill told Master Savri that even if Master Savri said no, he was going to say yes. And that his word was final.”

Nori had not believed it, had stared at Little Dís.

But then that evening, after supper, when Karill usually sat outside for his nightly smoke, he'd called Nori to him. 

It was painful to admit now, but Nori had never quite known what to do with his sire. He always felt at odds with Karill in a way he'd never felt with Dori, who he'd known about just as long, arguably. Karill did not show himself easily, and truthfully, Nori had still nursed a bit of hurt towards Karill over the matter of Ori, and what Karill had believed back then.

“You've always known your own mind,” Karill had said that evening, his pipe in his hand. “First time I saw you and Dwalin together, I had my suspicions. He's always looked at you like he doesn't have any sense in his fool head. And no matter who tried to turn your own head, you've never looked at anyone but him.” 

It had made Nori uncomfortable, that Karill had observed him so closely. “Why would I?” 

Karill had chuckled, and taken a hit of his pipe, before offering it to Nori. While Nori had a puff, Karill had shaken his head, smiling, and said, “You've always been a bit of a hedgehog, all curled up with your back out. Except with a few. Your brothers, and Dwalin. Savri sees it too, he's just afraid.”

“I'm not!” Nori had insisted hotly.

“I know,” Karill had cut in, in a low voice. “I know.” He had taken his pipe back, and sighed, before he had said, “Tell Dwalin to come again when he can this week. And when he comes, I will consent to your promise.”

After, Savri had been the one sulking, but Nori had not cared at all. Not when he could finally look at Dwalin, and know he was Nori's, and Nori was his, a done deal. 

In the here and now he was sorry at how he had distrusted Karill for so long, that he had not managed to let himself be closer to his sire. He had been the one in Nori's corner when he needed someone, and Nori had been grateful for it, even if he had been surprised to find him there. 

He closed his eyes, the heat of the fire pleasant against his back, and he allowed himself to lie down on the rug, using his arm as a pillow. Even with the wind howling, the sound of the fire and his own exhaustion were enough for him to start to feel the heaviness of sleep. He knew he should get up, and crawl into bed with Ori and the dogs, but he was already half asleep.

The next he knew, Dori was gently shaking him awake and helping him up. Dori was soaked through, his usually pristine hair and beard windblown. “ _Nadadith_ , you'll give yourself the worst crick doing this.” He must have been freezing, and yet he still fussed over Nori. 

It was enough to have Nori shake off the last of his sleep, sniffing and getting to his feet so he could get some water in the big kettle, using the pipes that drain it from the community reserves inside the mountain. It's all snow melt, which means it's colder than death at this point, so it's a struggle to get it over the fire, the metal of the kettle so cold now it can't be handled without Nori using a towel to protect his hands. 

While he got the water warmed up, Dori, shivering, got out of his wet clothes, leaving them draped across the drying line strung up by the sitting room hearth. His hands were shaking, so Nori draped him in a blanket and started undoing Dori's wet hair, combing it out and redoing it in something simpler, all of it piled up on his head, before covering it up with a wrap. By the time that was finished, the water was hot, and Dori could have a proper wash and get warmed up while Nori found him dry clothes. 

Once that was done, Dori went in and changed Savri's warming pans, and gave him another dose of the medicine that was supposedly helping him, but only seemed to make him sleep, from what Nori saw. 

Finally, he and Dori were both in the den with Ori, the dogs having shifted when the pair of them climbed in. Glass was happy to settle at Dori's back, while Sand snuffled, and stretched out around their feet. 

Nori tried not to be jealous of Dori and Glass, but he was, his own back not cold, exactly, but empty. 

“I miss Keeper,” he confided, trying to get Ori comfortable between them. 

“I do too,” Dori replied, his hand on Ori's back. He always seemed to know just the right way to touch someone to soothe them. “Glass' second litter is still with the trainers. Why don't you pick one of hers out for you? Keeper would have liked having one of her grandpups with you. She only ever trusted you with her or these useless lumps.” 

As though she understood him, Glass made a gruff sound and moved around noisily. 

Keeper had always seemed to understand Nori. 

“Maybe,” he said, not at all sure. He had not seen Glass' recent litter, her second. Keeper's loss had been fresh in his heart, and he hadn't wanted to. “Do any of them have her eyes?”

“Yes,” Dori said, and somehow that made Nori's chest ache worse. “Three of them, in this bunch.” He rubbed Nori's arm now, and it helped a bit. “One of them even has her colouring.”

Nori knew he was trying to appease Nori, but still, the thought of seeing Keeper as a pup was really somewhat comforting. “I wouldn't call them Keeper,” he insisted. “She wouldn't like it. She was a spoiled creature, by the end. She'll want to always be my one Keeper.” 

“But she would never want you to spend the rest of your life alone,” Dori said. 

Nori did not look at him, though it wasn't as though he would be able to see him in the darkness anyway. Instead, he just moved a bit closer, Ori getting a fist around the sleeping braids Nori had his beard in, holding tight. The gesture, as always, seemed to comfort him enough that at last he stilled in true, deep sleep. 

Dori said nothing either, and soon, his breathing had the even sound of sleep as well. 

By their feet, Sand snorted, and turned over, his gangly legs stretching out and poking into Nori's calf. 

“Useless mutt,” he said. 

The storm did finally die, and after the gates were repaired, Nori bundled Ori up and walked down to the kennels, Sand in tow. He sniffed at Glass's latest litter, the pups trying to play with him, even though they were all still too little to even keep both ears up at once. Ori was delighted at the sight of them, plopping down in the straw to play as well, the puppies eager to crawl all over him. 

He had never known Keeper as a puppy, but all of them seemed unlike her in every way except looks.

“Glass had a strong litter,” one of the kennel masters said, strolling over. “Figured your family would want one, what with yours passing.” They put a hand on Nori's shoulder, and usually, he would hate the presumption, but this time felt as genuine sympathy. “I know it's hard when one passes, but it's worse if you try to carry on without another. Once you get used to having such a friend, going without is a torment.” 

The kennel master was not wrong. Keeper had been his truest companion, feeling as though she were another piece of him. 

“None of them look right,” Nori said. 

“They're all young still. Haven't quite settled into themselves.” They looked at Nori, frowned, and asked, “Do you know, wait here.” 

It was not as though there were any reason to leave. Ori and Sand were perfectly happy to be where they were, and while Nori was not all that interested in any of the pups for his own, he liked them simply because they were Keeper's grand-pups. 

The kennel-master came back, only with a gangly, half-grown pup at his side. They were not the same colour as Keeper, but instead, almost all-over black, with yellow-green eyes. They looked at Nori, and came closer, so he held out his hand. They sniffed it, and came closer, so Nori knelt down. 

“Hello, there,” he said. “Who're you then?”

“Never named him,” the kennel-master explained. “He was the runt of Glass' first litter, though he's grown out of it. Tried to tell people that, but his colouring isn't what most like when it comes to this kind, in any case.” 

Nori scratched him below the ears, as Keeper had liked, and the dog's eyes fell half-lidded. 

“I'll take him.”

So Nori brought him home, the pup walking beside Sand without much need for direction. Ori kept looking at him, then up at Nori, but said nothing, so Nori let him be until he decided to speak. Finally, when they were almost home, Ori pointed at the pup, and asked, “Who is that?”

“I'm not sure yet,” Nori answered, keeping a tight hold on Ori's hand. “He doesn't have a name yet. But he's going to come live with us.” 

Once inside, the pup wandered around the house, exploring. He ended up settling down in front of the hearth, his back to the stones, not getting up to watch Dori and Nori prepare the evening meal, unlike Sand, who lurked underfoot, waiting for a scrap to fall. “Oy, go on, you great bottomless pit,” Dori scolded, but it only ever managed to shoo Sand for a moment or two. 

“How about Jet?” Dori suggested, as he sprinkled rosemary on top of the uncooked chips. 

“Not quite right,” Nori said, passing him the salt after he finished with it over the venison. One of Dori's friends had brought them two deer for the larder, and Nori could side-eye his brother all he liked, but Dori refused to ever even acknowledge Nori was looking at him. “I might not even keep him. We'll have to see how he settles in.” 

As though he had a choice; when they settled into the den that night, the new pup firmly put himself against Nori's back, and Nori knew he would keep him. 

Nori decided to call him Soot, or rather, Ori did, after Ori rubbed his hands in the fireplace and then rubbed soot over himself so he'd look like the new pup. 

“Well, I suppose it fits,” Dori had said dryly, scrubbing Ori down, even as he fussed and cried. 

“Guess so,” Nori agreed, petting the pup, who was looking at Nori in such a way as though he were trying to say none of this was his fault. “Soot, then?” It seemed the pup had no arguments, so the name stuck. 

The soot had stuck to Ori rather spectacularly as well. He had not spoken to Dori or Nori for three days after how they had to scrub him clean. 

It at least gave them something to laugh about, as they all waited, hoping Savri would come out of the woods yet again. As they waited for word from Karill, from Dwalin, from _anyone_.

Finally, one morning, closer to spring than the Long Night, Nori came out of their bedroom to let the dogs outside, and found Savri sitting in the armchair by the hearth, wrapped in an old robe and a fur, but alert and drinking a cup of tea he had brewed himself. 

Nori said nothing, but he did go and sit at Savri's feet, resting his head on Savri's knee. 

He took Soot and Ori and Sand out for a walk, and took them to the meadow. After a time, Soot shot up, growling, but when Nori looked up, he saw it was only the Princess, with both her own boys in tow. Fíli made right for Ori, as he usually did, determined to show Ori some new toy of his. A training sword, Nori realised. Had the lads really gotten so big already?

The Princess said nothing, but instead sat beside him, her face grim. 

It took a long time, the pair of them watching the children play, before she said, “We have received word from the front.” She swallowed, her eyes wet. “Frerin was killed.”

He did not know what to say, because everything that sprang to mind was cruel. Frerin had been lazy, and refused to learn his weapons better. It was more a surprise he had lived so long during the campaign. He did not say that though, because Dís was already likely thinking it herself. 

He felt selfish for asking, but still he did. “Any other word?”

“My grandfather,” she said. “My father.” She reached out and Nori took her hand. “Fundin.” And finally, she looked at Nori, and he saw it in her face, an answer to a question he was too afraid to ask. “Karill and them died together, last anyone saw,” she said. “Back to back. How they would have liked to go. They were always the best of friends, as close as blood.”

Nori had to rub his eyes, and knew he was crying, and he knew it was true. 

“What am I supposed to tell Savri?” His voice cracked, and he was embarrassed. 

“That his husband died with honour.” 

There was little comfort to be had in that, even for Nori, and he knew Savri would find even less. Dís though, she had suffered more losses than him, and Nori was sorry for that as well. The pair of them fell together, leaning on one another, and while she did not weep, Nori thought she very much wanted to. 

Away from them, the children played on, and Nori wondered if any of them would even remember the ones fallen by the time they were grown. Ori had never really taken to Karill, though he liked him as well as Ori ever liked anyone. It made Nori even sadder, somehow, because Karill had never minded that Ori was not really sired by him. He'd always called Ori his youngest, had praised Ori as possibly being his brightest, as Ori quietly learned, leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else his age. 

Nori himself, he could have been a better son. He could have, if he had just tried harder. He had never thought he would run out of time, not really. 

Only he had. 

As they sat together in silence, Nori realised that while Kíli was determinedly chasing a grasshopper around the grass, Fíli and Ori were sitting together. Ori was speaking. Ori was speaking and continuing to speak, Fíli sitting beside him, listening. He was telling a story. 

Carefully, he elbowed Dís and got her attention, hitching his chin at the children. Beside him, she stared, and then whispered, “Has he ever said so many words at once?”

“I don't think he's ever said that many words in his whole life,” Nori replied, and she laughed, hiding it in his sleeve. 

When they left, they walked home together, Ori on Nori's hip, Kíli holding his mother's hand while Fíli walked a little ahead of them. The lad was already so tall, Kíli as well. “He's the second-in-line now,” Nori said, glancing at Dís. Because just like that, Fíli had gone from sixth-in-line, to second. Far too much to put on a child. “Or can you reclaim your spot?”

“No,” Dís said. “My husband's family made things complicated, in that regard. No, Fíli is now Thorin's named heir.” 

They've reached the door, and Dís stopped, calling for Fíli to wait a moment. “Nori, tell Savri that my family sends their deepest. And that Karill's name will live in honour, as a Burned Dwarf.” It _was_ a great honour. Nori knew that. To be a Burned Dwarf was to be a Dwarf that died on the battlefield, in service of their people. A Burned Dwarf was considered one of the bravest, one of the most revered in the Halls. 

Karill would have liked that. 

“Thank you,” Nori managed. 

“Don't,” she said, and then left with her boys. 

He hoped that no one else was home yet, no one but Savri who would be resting again by now, but he had no such luck. Dori was standing in the kitchen, cutting turnips, Sand begging as usual, while Glass dozed on her mat. She looked up at them, but showed little interest. They were family, after all, nothing like a threat. 

Nori set Ori down, and he made for her, as he usually did, Soot trailing after Nori gave him a nod. 

“What's got you looking like that, then?” Dori asked, glancing up from the turnips when Nori came close to him. Nori tried to speak, but his throat felt too tight now. He tried and couldn't say a word, but he should have known it would not matter. Dori knew something was wrong. He set the knife down and put a hand between Nori's shoulders. “What have you heard, _nadadith_? Did Dís receive word? Is it Dwalin?” Nori shook his head, and Dori closed his eyes, sighed. He took a deep breath, then seemed to brace himself.

He should have known Dori would work it out so easily.

“How?”

“Back to back with Fundin.”

Dori laughed, low under his breath, and pulled Nori closer. “How the pair of them would have liked that.”

Nori could not help himself. He could not change his own heart, and he could not change how relieved he was when he could say aloud, “The army is coming home, and Dwalin is alive,” but when he stepped back, he saw Savri standing in the middle of the sitting room. He had been as silent as a shadow, but he had clearly heard everything, and Nori's heart dropped again. He almost did not feel he was allowed to be happy, not when it had happened like this. 

For his part though, Savri turned away from them, and went to his chair. It seemed to take far too much effort for him to sit, and despite him being up and about for the first time in so long, something about it pulled at Nori, a warning he did not like finding a voice in his head. 

“I told him this was a fool's errand,” Savri said, his eyes closed. “He would not listen. He was always such a fool though. Did I ever tell you he ran around half the damn mountain telling everyone we were engaged before I'd even agreed? The thought never even entered his thick head that I might refuse.” Slowly, Savri pulled his legs up into the chair, tucking them under himself, and pulling the thick blanket draped over the back of the chair around himself. He was so thin, it seemed to take hardly any effort for him to fit himself in the space. “Perhaps I was the bigger fool though. It never even occurred to me to refuse, even though my parents were insulted by the arrogance of it. Wanted me to refuse, said I should wait, and make sure the whole mountain knew I was spoiled for choice. That no one could have me so easily.” 

“He was trying to do what he thought was right,” Dori said, defending Karill, even now. As though he still needed it. “You know he always did what was right.”

“No, he didn't,” Savri dismissed easily. “He did what he thought was right. It was not always the noble way with him. But you did not know him young, I suppose. You were so little still when Erebor fell. I suppose you do not remember how we were back when things were easy. He changed, after the Desolation.” Here, he coughed, and it was such a long fit, Nori was kneeling beside him with water while Dori boiled water for tea by the time he regained his voice. 

When he did at last, drinking all the water and then the tea, Nori and Dori were both beside him. Ori, frightened by the noise, was hiding with Sand in their bedroom. 

He looked at them both, and in the light, Nori could see how ravaged Savri was by this latest bout. He was so thin, the lines in his face so deep. His eyes were clear and steady still though, as he said, “At least this time, our separation will not be nearly so long. I do not think I could bear that again, truthfully.”

“Don't,” Nori said sharply. “You're getting better!”

“Am I?” Savri asked. He cupped Nori's face, something like a smile playing at his mouth. “Help your brother with the supper, my little-heart.”

He did as he was told, because he couldn't think of anything else to do, but he kept looking at Savri, afraid that if he looked away too long, Savri might disappear like a ghost. The feeling faded as the evening went on, and the quiet night seemed to seal the whole house tight from the outside world, including anything that might come snatch Savri away. 

In the darkness of the den, Dori and Ori and all the dogs asleep, Nori rolled over so he was facing Soot. The dog huffed at peeked at him, the crack of light coming through the curtains catching on his enough Nori could see. “Now listen,” he whispered, and Soot perked up a bit. “Dwalin only looks a bit scary. But your grandmother adored him. She trusted him. He's one of the gentlest people I know.” He scratched behind Soot's ears, and the dog perked up quite a bit more now. “You'll love him. He'll love you.” 

Soot snuffed and pressed himself closer into Nori's space. 

There was something terribly selfish in Nori, and he knew and hated it, because Karill was dead, but Dwalin was coming _home_.

♦

Dwalin rose, washed, ate, marched. Stopped. Ate. Marched. Stopped. Ate. Rest.

Every day, all the same. 

Same was good. 

“Dís has written back,” Thorin said, leaning over a map. “She told Nori of what happened.”

Dwalin grunted, acknowledging it. He had no words, so he said none. 

Thorin looked at him. Dwalin could feel it. He knew he was supposed to acknowledge his king was looking at him, but the effort it took to look away from the map was more than he had. So he did not acknowledge that hisking was looking at him. 

Fundin would not like that, but it did not matter what Fundin would have thought about anything. Fundin was a Burned Dwarf now. Fundin did not think about anything anymore. 

“She also says Nori has not heard from you.” 

It was still too much work to lift his eyes, but he could speak. “What would I say?” There was nothing left to say, nothing that would give either of them any joy. All Dwalin could say was the truth, and when he did, Nori would turn from him, as he was always meant to. Dwalin was a fool, to ever believe in the idea of having Nori. Nori was bright and beautiful. Dwalin was slow and too big. 

And it was Dwalin's fault his own bearer was dead. And it was his fault that Nori's sire was dead. 

“It was not your fault,” Thorin said, because it was Dwalin's fault, but he was Dwalin's friend. “You made a decision, you could not see how things would fall.”

“I was supposed to stand with them. I left.” 

“You left to help Frerin.”

It had been a decision made in the moment; hearing Frerin shouting, Dwalin telling Karill and Fundin he would be back. Not making it to Frerin before he saw the spear go through Frerin's chest. Not making it back to Fundin and Karill before the pair were overwhelmed. All three laid out to be burned. Dwalin alive, and useful to no one. 

No. Dwalin was useful here. He was useful to Thorin. “Marching back through the southern pass is a bad idea. It's low-level. It'll be flooded by the time we get there. We're better off risking the the snow in the north. Mud'll pull the wagons down. We can't afford losing the wheels that way.” Mud will break the wheels. They'll do fine over frozen ground and snow. And cold will keep the scavengers away this late in the season. Wolves will still be in the south, in the warmth. Bears will still be sleeping. 

A spark of a memory, unasked for. A bear. A bear Dwalin felled. Taking off the fur, getting it cleaned. Too scared to give it to Nori, having Balin do it instead. 

Lifting Nori from a wagon, the fur around Nori's shoulders. Ori in a sling against Nori, Nori's waist so small in Dwalin's hands. Dwalin had felt strong then. Protective.

He flexed his hands, in the here and now, then reached for his right axe, laying it across his lap so he could start sharpening it. His eyes caught on the maker's mark though, and he stilled. “I'm sorry, Thorin,” he said. 

Thorin glanced at the axe, and sighed heavily. “It was not your fault. He never should have been here. He hated combat and he had no head for it either. I told my father and grandfather so, but they would not listen.” 

“I should have been with him,” Dwalin insisted, because he should have. “Frerin was too young.”

“There were many more that fell that were younger,” Thorin said, handing Dwalin a whetstone. “It is strange, to know it is just myself and Dís and the boys now. I am glad she stayed behind to govern though. Bad enough they've lost so many, so young. I do not think I would be up to the task of telling them if Dís had fallen as well.” 

Dwalin was grateful for Dís as well. If she had been written to of the fallen, she would be the one to tell Nori about Karill. Dwalin would not have to face Nori himself and tell him of his failure. 

He had joined this war march so he could earn a placement, and a home to start his family in. The family he had dreamed of having with Nori. He had spent hours building their house in his mind, dreaming of sitting room with a long hearth for the dogs, Keeper and all who would follow. Rooms. Ori would sleep with them still for awhile, he had thought, but Ori was the sort who want his own space sooner rather than later. And he would need a quiet place to study. Dwalin was sure the lad was meant for more than either he or Nori wanted.

And more rooms besides, he had imagined. He had thought of children. The two of them had never spoken of it, not truly, but Dwalin had thought they both wanted one, eventually.

One day, one far off day where they had a true home in the mountains again, where they were safe. 

The dream had given him comfort in the long nights, when the battle had ceased for however long; weeks, days, an hour. He would call to mind the image of Nori, the memory of him the one Dwalin cherished, held closer than any other, and imagine their life together, the one Dwalin was trying to make happen.

He no longer imagined those things though. They had never been anything but dreams.

Carefully, he drew the whetstone down the blade, over and over, until the silence in his head was filled with nothing but the sound, and the axe was all he saw.


End file.
